Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Ti Chape (another free chapter from "Embracing the Gray")


Preparing for my sixth visit to Haiti (and first since the earthquake), I’ve been in a reflective mood. Here is a chapter form my book, Embracing the Gray that explains my attachment to this struggling nation over the years:

After passing by the hazed eastern tip of Cuba, our American Airlines flight banked steeply to the right and within minutes we were passing over the northern peninsula of Haiti, so recognizable due to the heavily rutted landscape.  The French had not been kind when they ravaged the once lush western half of Hispaniola of all the mahogany trees and shipped the lumber back to Paris to make fine furniture.  Over 200 years later, the nation is still 90% barren, and what little good topsoil remains is being eroded into the Caribbean. We circled over the Canal du Sud strait approaching Port au Prince, a teeming city I had not been to in nineteen years.  As we touched down on the single runway “international” airport, memories began to take focus.

I had been to this second-poorest country in the world three times in the 80s.  In fact, my very first trip to a developing nation had been here in early 1984 when I was managing Petra. We had begun a relationship with Compassion a year earlier, and had seen thousands of needy kids find sponsors with their enthusiastic concert audiences and via album inserts. It was so humbling for us to meet some of the children we had been sponsoring, and to see the life-changing results that child development in a Christian environment could bring about.

A wiry American with a unique accent was our guide on that trip.  He had been living in Haiti for six years, assisting with various ministries, and eventually signing-on full-time with Compassion.  His deep, expressive voice had been influenced over his lifetime of being raised as a missionary’s son in West Africa, then attending various universities in America earning multiple degrees, as well as serving as a linguist in the Army on the Eastern Front of Europe. Along the way he had mastered seven different languages, and we heard him speak fluently and persuasively in the unique language of Haiti known as Creole.  Thus began a twenty-eight year friendship with the man who is now my boss. Wess Stafford has since gone on to become the president of Compassion International, overseeing an organization that has grown to twenty times the size it was then, now giving manifold assistance to over 1.3 million children in twenty-six countries.

I’ll never forget as we were sitting in some sort of traffic back up—a very common Haitian occurrence—along the N1 Highway near the coastal town of Arcahaie.  I snapped one of my all-time favorite photos: a little boy of about three with a distended belly from malnutrition, wearing a ragged striped t-shirt and nothing else, proudly hoisting his torn little hand-made kite on a ten foot string made up of whatever scraps of twine and wire he had found.  The breeze was keeping it only about five feet aloft, but he was as gleeful as any child I had ever seen.

Wess was seated next to me in our van, and noticed my fascination with the tiny urchin.  “Ah, yes…another little Ti Chape,” he observed. 

“What is a Ti Chape?” I asked.

“It’s a Creole phrase that many parents in these poorest areas of Haiti use with their youngest kids,” Wess explained.  “I’m sure you’ll hear it often over the next several days as we visit homes.  It’s a term of endearment…but it’s also one of a harsh reality that reminds everyone every time it is uttered of how devastating each day can be for people living on the brink.  Ti Chape means ‘little survivor’ or ‘one who has escaped death’.” 

By this time, several others from the band were leaning in close to hear what Wess was explaining.

As a very tenderhearted man, Wess could not conceal his passion for these people, and tears began to well in his eyes, and with a catch in his throat he continued: “Sadly, for the majority of the poor here in Haiti, the infant mortality rate is as high as fifty percent for children under the age of five.  So, often times parents won’t refer to their littlest ones by their birth name until they celebrate their fifth birthday, because they know all too well that many of them won’t make it that far.  While they are still in this most vulnerable toddler stage, they are affectionately called “Ti Chape.”  I guess it is overly painful to consistently call them by their real name for fear of assigning too much hope to their prospects.  This same phenomena happens, by different names of course, in other desperately poor cultures around the globe.”

I watched intently for a few more minutes at that toddler joyfully trying to keep his tattered toy buoyant on the air. Then we lurched forward in the traffic flow.  For the rest of our stay I pondered what his chances were really going to be within the next few months. 

Later that day, I saw my first human corpse abandoned in one of the filthy alleyways of an intense slum on the bay known as City du la Sole. It wasn’t the only one I would ever see in Haiti.  Even now, whenever I look at that tyke’s photo in my collection, it gives me great pause, and it was all coming back to me nearly twenty-five years later as we drove through the packed streets of Port au Prince.

On our final day of this just-completed trip, we drove out the N2 highway along the southern Massif de la Hotte peninsula, weaving past colorfully painted tap-taps (old pick ups converted into buses often over-loaded down with upwards of twenty people), soot-spewing diesel trucks, and UN troop patrol vehicles that help keep the peace in this politically unstable environment. 

As we pass tiny farms, my mind drifts back to meeting Horele Georges. He was the third son of a meager dirt farmer near the town of Miragoane.  Hector Georges supported his family of seven on a rocky plot about one-half of an acre in size.  He toiled with one emaciated cow nearly every daylight hour trying to squeeze each ounce of productivity out of that parched earth as was humanly possible.

When Horele was registered into the program at age five, he began learning new agricultural techniques that showed how yield could be increased dramatically with the help of better seeds, certain fertilizers, irrigation techniques, and so on. 

A year passed as he observed through a couple of growth seasons how the corn at the project was markedly bigger than what was growing on all the area farms.  Horele started asking Hector if they could try these processes on their crops.  At first his father just ignored him, but Horele persisted.  Eventually Hector said, “Son, I’ve worked this land in this way my entire life.  My father before me did the same, and your grandfather and great grandfather before them.  There’s nothing that can be done that we haven’t tried.”

But Horele knew that some of these ideas had not been put into practice…or at least he wasn’t aware that they had been while he helped his father every day before and after school.  So, he continued trying to explain to his poppa what he had been taught.  As it was just the beginning of a new planting season, Hector finally relented, and said, “Alright, Horele.  I’ll let you have one row of this section where you can try your silly tricks.  I’ll be surprised if whatever it is you try even survives the first heat wave.”

Taking what he had learned at the Compassion project, the little boy eagerly set his attention on that modest row of newly planted seeds.  Each morning he tilled and watered.  Each afternoon he blended in the fertilizing techniques he was being taught, pulled weeds, and watered more.

Eight weeks passed, and lo and behold, Horele’s row was two feet taller than the rest of the plot.  His daddy had certainly noticed, but kept waiting for the stalks to wither.  When it was apparent that indeed his little son’s crop was going to be substantially better than his, he sheepishly said “So, son, ummm…what is it exactly that they are teaching you to do?”

By the time the next growing season was finished, Hector Georges’ little farm was producing forty percent higher yield than it ever had.

I look back fondly on Horele, because he was a boy I sponsored for twelve years. And I finally met him less than four months before he was to graduate from high school, near the top of his class. His dad became so good at the farming techniques his little son had taught him that he became a regular volunteer assistant with each new class at the Compassion project.  Skepticism and even fatalism had been superseded by the youthful zeal of his child. Hector eventually ended up on staff at the project. 

Horele in his mid-thirties now, with a family of his own.  He’s a leader in his church and in his community. And on the same tiny scrap of land he’s still raising some of the best corn on that side of the island.    

It would be easy to assess that not much has changed for the better in Haiti since that visit in 1990.  There were still massive piles of stinking refuse at nearly every street corner.  Sewers were packed and overflowing with debris.  The charcoal based energy and cooking lifestyle was still evident with a thick haze that covered most urban areas. And tens of thousands of people packed every sidewalk and spilled out into the bumpy streets…just barely avoiding dismemberment from crazed motorists.

We were headed out to see one of Compassion’s projects that had been in existence for twenty-three years, but had just a few years before added a new program that is helping revolutionize our work.

When we arrived in the rural town of Papette, where the Wesleyan Church had become a real community center over the past two decades, and it was obvious that the one thousand residents had a deep respect for all that the Compassion project had helped them with over the years.

My little group of radio professionals and I were ushered into the sanctuary where ninety-three mothers and their infants had been patiently waiting.  It was amazing how quiet and disciplined the 120 or so little ones were—we commented amongst ourselves that the same scene in America would’ve been utter pandemonium. There was a look of gentle appreciation on the face of each young woman when we made eye contact. 

A handful of the moms came forward to give testimony to what had revolutionized their lives.  You see, over Compassion’s fifty-six years of existence, we’ve always been laser-beam focused on child development for kindergarten age kids through high school.  But in the past five years, we have launched a new initiative called the Child Survival Program (CSP), which supports mothers and children all the way from their pregnancy, on into infancy, and through the toddler years.

One of the young mothers, Irmice, had her little eighteen-month-old boy draped on her shoulder, fast asleep, as she shared with the crowd.  “I serve a living, loving God,” she confidently declared.  “If not for Him or Compassion, I, and certainly not my baby, would be alive today.”  She went on to explain the loving care and instruction she had received from the CSP staff, nurses, and social workers who showed her how to improve pre-natal health via exercise, nutrition, and supplements.  Then after her son was born, the encouraging practical lessons like proper breast-feeding, preventive vaccines, immunizations, and other medicines have continued.

On a subsequent tour through the CSP wing of the project we saw cribs, tiny chairs, baby swings, scooters, tricycles, a huge supply of learning toys and instruments, exercise mats, building blocks, and everything else you would see in a well-run education based nursery.  They even had weekly classes for social interaction/training and early literacy. For these moms, who come from households where the average monthly income is perhaps $40 at best, this is a sanctuary for their babies in the truest sense of the word. The CSP Director, Rose, explained how the tots were regularly weighed, measured, and examined to make sure they were within healthy parameters. There was a full pharmaceutical closet with everything a young mother could need for their child. Extensive files were kept on each mom and baby that was regularly updated with the weekly visits at their homes as well as at the project.  We were thoroughly impressed. And the results were obvious in the shiny eyes, gleeful giggles, and yes, even the healthy full-throat wails of some little nippers. 

We saw the wall charts that were proudly displayed showing the progress of each and every infant that had come through the program…and not a single one had died.  In fact, once the three-year-olds “graduate” from CSP, they then become eligible for Compassion’s regular child sponsorship that runs from pre-K all the way through their late teens. And all of them from four to five years ago were now enrolled there.

“What an ongoing blessing we have seen as Compassion has been involved here for over a generation,” said Rev. Thebaud, the aging pastor who had formed the church three decades ago. “So many more precious little ones have been saved physically and spiritually since we began partnering with you. I am retiring soon, and will probably be going to be with the Lord very soon as well…however I can rest easy knowing that things have changed so much for the better from when we started back in 1985.”

Outside the project, we saw some much healthier looking kindergartners sailing their tattered kites.  But they were in their school uniforms, with good shoes on their feet.  I always like asking these little Haitian dynamos their names.  It swells my heart every time to hear them proudly blurt out their moniker: “Pierre!”  “Camille!” “Sebastien!” “Monique!” “Alain!” “Simone!”  “Yves!”  I close my eyes and see a skinny tyke waving some big ears of corn yelling out “Horele!”

And when I asked these mothers on this day to introduce their littlest ones, there wasn’t a single “Ti Chape” answer in the bunch.

# # #

If you would be interested in reading Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, you can get it via Kindle for just 99 cents via Amazon.com here:


Or you can get it as a FREE PDF download at my website here (donations accepted):


It is also available at most bookstores and internet sites in book form as well.




Sunday, July 15, 2012

More Five Star Reviews for "Embracing the Gray"


I am so grateful for the positive reviews of my book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, that continue to be posted on Amazon.com…

Hollingsworth pulls no punches here. This is real, tough, faith in the trenches. The chapters dealing with family loss are heart-breaking and yet ultimately hopeful and full of grace and appreciation. One chapter (about a trans-Atlantic flight from Hell) had me laughing out loud, covering my mouth due to shock, the way I do when I read The Onion or humorist Dave Barry! I read the book in less than a week. For comparison's sake, my wife and I are still trying to get through The Shack after two and a half years. Get Embracing the Gray
-C.H.

Laugh, cry, think.  Embracing the Gray is fascinating. Mark A. Hollingsworth writes of his challenging life growing up in an era of great social change during which he is subject to even more scrutiny as a preacher's son. Added to that, his family carries extra burdens from multi-generational family problems with substance abuse. Despite this triple whammy (or maybe because of it) Mark's amazing life evolves as one of great joy, purpose and courage while questing for spiritual answers. I wanted to put this book down but I couldn't. This is a must read for anyone who admires books that cut thru BS. 
-K.C.

You may not recognize the name Mark Hollingsworth, but you’ve probably heard him on the radio, read an article he’s written, been a fan of a band he managed or at least heard of his employer, Compassion International.
Embracing the Gray is a beautiful journey of doubt, music, reality, mission and faith…or a lack thereof.  Through short stories from his work, confessing his renouncement of Christianity in college, destruction and restoration in his family, returning to faith, occasional looks at the every day … they are journeys and questions that I think we all need to consider if we really want to make our beliefs our own.
Walking through the gentle death of his father truly moved my spirit. I’m realizing that I’m not good at aging, and as I see my parents getting older I am forced to recognize how our relationship is starting to change. For Mark, the true realization his father was slipping was by beating him in checkers. For me, it involves deciphering recipes in the kitchen. It was comforting to look into not only what might be ahead, but to know that I won’t be navigating that road alone.
Out of the collection, the stories that truly touched me were his interactions with some of the least of these: a Kenyan girl named Mercy, a woman who broke rocks into gravel in India, children in Haiti who aren’t expected to survive so they have no names, the angel that showed up on Mark’s doorstep…all unexpected faces where grace is found.  Mark’s narrative is descriptive, yet open so I can remember the people I’ve encountered over my own journey.
The beauty of a well-written memoir is realizing all of our journeys interact.  And by looking at the lives of others, we learn more about our own.
Embracing The Gray is just such a book.
-L.L.

A journey toward meaning. This book shows that everything in life can move us toward meaning. I appreciate the author's willingness to expose his life on paper so that we share his journey. I was inspired by this to see my own life in a new way - which is all one can ask of a memoir. Lovely writing and full of humor, too. Five stars.
- S.A.

Mark's unique talent as a storyteller will have you laughing, sighing, & most importantly thinking ... often in the same chapter & sometimes in the same paragraph. I found myself making an effort to find "just a few minutes" to sneak in "just one more chapter", and know I will re-read it often. This is a book that would be enjoyed by & beneficial for everyone to read ... so buy it, read it, & share it! 
-B.D.

Something that I greatly appreciate about Mark and his book is his gift of story telling. It's one thing to tell a story face to face, but sharing an experience through the written word and making the reader feel like they are right there beside you is an art form. Mark is simply a fantastic writer. I found myself, like many of the other reviewers who have posted, not able to put the book down. I wanted to find out what happened next! This book has so many layers...it's deep and soul searching as well as light and hilarious. It's one of those books where you find yourself laughing and then running for the kleenex box. You will walk away feeling inspired, invigorated, and challenged. I can't recommend this book enough. Well done.
-A.G.

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating.  If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also read many reader reviews (97% are Five Stars) at:


Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):




Sunday, July 8, 2012

For Those Who Give a Damn


My last blog, “Some of Us Don’t Give a Shit,” really stirred up quite a response. 

Oh sure, we’d read some articles
We knew some people needed help
But social workers take care of that
I mean, why give a damn yourself?

Well, the reason that you didn’t
And the reason that you won’t
Is you think you got a lot to lose
And the other fella don’t
Oh, you give a damn, and so does he
You think the rest of us are just fakin’?
I mean what do you need that you got to give
Less than what you’re takin’?

For those of you who are interested in doing more to help poor kids in the developing world, here are some ideas:

I have been involved with these organizations (some for decades) and can recommend them highly:

Sponsor an impoverished child in a developing nation.  This is one-to-one concern at its best:

Help build homes for those with insufficient housing:

Give assistance to poor people trying to start small businesses in the developing world:

Assist with antiretroviral drugs for HIV/AIDS patients

Give your voice to helping reduce poverty, third world debt, and assist economic empowerment to developing nations:

Buy African art/gifts where your money goes back to those who created the crafts:

Donate to a fund to help fight global spread of tuberculosis, malaria, and AIDS:

Administer justice for those caught in forced labor and unjust systems:

Donate to help with the global food crisis affecting hundreds of millions, especially children:

Help dig clean water wells in Africa:

Act to help free children from sex slavery operations:

Write governments and policymakers about Human Rights abuses:

If you go here you can activate a donation from another source to help health care for children in the third world just by clicking:

Get involved in helping stop the genocide in Darfur, Sudan:

If you’re interested in finding out more about Tony Campolo’s books, speaking, and outreach to the poor in the U.S. and abroad:

No one expects you to do everything…but at least do something

Where could you go?
What could you see?
What could you do your best?
The book is in your left hand
Your right hand knows the address
Address your questions
Address your money
Address your telephone number
But above all, please address yourself
And give a damn this summer

(Noel Paul Stookey, “Give a Damn,” from Paul And,  1971)

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Most of Us Don't Give a Shit


I just attended my 100th music festival over the past few days.  It got me to thinking about one of the highlights of one of these events that happened thirty years ago this weekend…

Tony Campolo stepped up to the podium on the main stage and gazed out across a hillside throng of over 40,000 people gathered at the Creation Festival in central Pennsylvania.  Christian rock bands had whipped the crowd into a frenzy earlier that evening.  Other speakers had encouraged them to stay chaste for Christ, to not be sucked into the MTV culture, to hold strong against the influences of secular humanism. They had seen family-friendly comedians, heard testimonies from born again basketball players whose free throw percentage had climbed since they started tithing, had observed church-touring magicians….even watched a Christian juggler.  Sanctified T-Shirts were being worn by the thousands with slogans like “This Blood’s For You,” “Air Jesus” (Instead of Air Jordan), “Go to Hell….Satan!” “Rapture Practice,” “Get Right or Get Left,” “Jesus is the Real Thing,” etc.

The outspoken author and head of the Sociology Department at Eastern University was focused as he stared at the crowd…

“Last night, while you were asleep, 10,000 children on this planet starved to death!”

There was a long, awkward pause…

“Let me reiterate: last evening, while you were sleeping in your tents and motel rooms around this festival site, and resting from your hard day of partying in the name of Jesus, 10,000 children under the age of twelve died due to starvation, easily preventable water-borne diseases, or sicknesses they could not fend off due to severe malnutrition.  10,0000!  That’s point number one.

Point number two is:  most of us here don’t give a shit!” 

His words echoed back from the woods behind the huge gathering.  I’ve never heard that many people so quiet, so focused.

“Point number three is: Most of you are more concerned that I just said “shit” than that 10,000 kids died last night…and that’s what I want to talk to you about:  your sense of morality.  Because many of us think that if “we don’t smoke, and we don’t chew, and we don’t go with girls who do” that we are somehow in God’s will.  Being a Christian is not trying to be nice and wholesome.  Being a Christian is best defined as someone whose heart is broken by the things that break the heart of God!”

Campolo then went on to give one of the most powerful sermons I’ve ever heard on the true meaning of the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount.  

After he spoke, over 5,000 of those people committed themselves to getting serious about changing the world by serving those in need. Many of them are now in full-time missions, inner city work, and advocates for the poor around the globe.
 
Poverty is so hard to see
When it’s only on your TV and twenty miles across town
Where we’re all living so good
That we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
Where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
From going through our trash
He says, “More than just your cash and coin
I want your time, I want your voice
I want the things you just can’t give me”
 
So what must we do?
Here in the west we want to follow you
We speak the language and we keep all the rules
Even a few we made up
“Come on and follow me
But sell your house, sell your SUV
Sell your stocks, sell your security
And give it to the poor”
What is this, hey what’s the deal?
I don’t sleep around and I don’t steal
I want the things you just can’t give me
 
“Because what you do to the least of these
My brothers, you have done it to me
Because I want the things you just can’t give me”

(“Rich Young Ruler” by Derek Webb from Mockingbird)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Worst Opening Act Ever


Spending the lion’s share of my life in the music industry as afforded me the opportunity to see some amazing concerts. As a rock journalist and radio DJ, I was given literally hundreds of passes and free tix to shows.  As a promoter, agent, and manager, I got to see scores more. And I also purchased my fair share as a common punter wanting to see his fave new act. 

Great shows are not that hard to recall:  My first U2 experience in ’81 at the Park West nightclub in Chicago; the visual spectacle of Pink Floyd at Vanderbilt Univ. Stadium in the summer of ’94; the unexpected joy of Todd Rundgren’s Utopia on the Oops, Wrong Planet tour in ’77; Kansas previewing material to their classic Leftoverture in ’76 a month before its release; Phil Keaggy Band in a 3 hour tour-de-force in ‘82; Genesis with stunning light/laser effects on the Wind and Wuthering Tour in ‘77; Pearl Jam exploding on stage at MTSU in ’93; Andre Crouch turning conservative Wheaton College into a pulsating black gospel party in ‘73; The Dixie Dregs in incinerating 328 Performance Hall in ’95; The Police tearing up the legendary Aragon Ballroom in Chi-town in ’80;  Peter Gabriel’s stage wizardry at Joe Louis Arena in ’87; Springsteen’s with his reunited E-Street Band in Nashville in ’98; Midnight Oil scorching the Paramount in Denver in ’88; Monte Montgomery wowing a packed-to-the-rafters 12th and Porter Showroom during the NAMM show in 2000; and more to be savored.

As stupendous as all of those were, none, however, none can match the depths of unequivocal incompetence of the worst act I’ve ever seen. Before I get to them, let me take you down the Hall of Shame before reaching the Lowly of Lowlies.  Burned into my memory cells are The Godz in Rockford Armory in ‘78; Thunderpussy in Decatur in ‘73 (although they get kudos for one of the funniest monikers ever); The Chi-lites opening for blues master Roy Buchanan at the Arie Crown Theater in Chicago (what was THAT promoter inhaling?!); Leon Patillo debuting his all girl back-up band in ’84 in Nashville (you could actually see his career ending before your eyes); Natural Gas; Tutu and the Pirates; Beaverteeth; Nick Gilder (what a panzy); T.J. Bear; Twister;  Faustas (arguably the worst heavy metal band of all time—I swear the singer had a rabid weasel lodged in his rectum); Roxx; Barooga; Skafish; 999; Krokus; Saint (Christian heavy metal at its absolute worst); W.A.S.P; Berlin; Duke Jupiter; Legs Diamond; Lust; The Dictators (featuring Handsome Dick Manitoba as the “charismatic” frontman); Krumbacher; and Autograph;  Then there was Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band; Bad Boy; P Boys; Country Boys; and The Boyzz—you can pretty much guarantee that if a group has “boy” somehow incorporated in their name, they will wreak (that even includes Christian lounge singer Dave Boyer).

Of course, there have been some real doozies playing on the Bud Lite  stage at Nashville Predators hockey games during between-period intermissions. The Stones cover band Jaggered Edge was particularly puke inducing, and I had to regularly choke back the bile whenever The Groove Addiction graced us with their clumsy exertions.  I wish I could also forget the plethora of female fronted bands that feel it obligatory to play “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” ("Oooh, I got a great idea for a hockey song!”). If I hear that one more time at a Preds game I will take them up on the offer with a rocket launcher from good ol’ Section 303.

But the band that scrapes even lower, that swirls repeatedly within a black hole of incompetence, whose musicianship is was so bereft of quality that even Satan and his minions would be challenged to embrace them was Felix Pappalardi’s Creation.  It is sad, really, that this is true, because I had the utmost respect for Felix as the producer of all of Cream’s amazing blues/rock albums in the late 60s, as well as being the bassist/producer for Mountain.  That band’s “Mississippi Queen” still sounds as vital and raucous today as when it was released in the early 70s.

However, for reasons known only to Felix, and perhaps to God, Mr. Papalardi assembled the most questionable entourage I’ve ever laid eyes and ears on in the mid 70’s, and dubbed it his “Creation.” I wouldn’t be the least surprised if it was the inspiration behind Christopher Guest’s Spinal Tap. I don’t know the names of the other members of his band, nor do I even care to Google them.  Suffice it to say that any band that is chosen based on the following requirements is going to produce dubious results:

1)     Every member had to be of Asian decent (nothing against that people group—I would make the same assessment of a band chosen for other appearance reasons, like say an all organic Eskimo lineup, or paraplegic Pygmy players, or autistic Albanian albinos). Maybe Felix was ahead of his time, but, then again, I thought Japanese rock groups like Loudness and XYZ sucked with abondanza in the 80s as well.

2)     There had to be an equal number of women and men in the band.  Now I’m not sexist, but let’s face it, there just haven’t been many convincing female rock musicians.  Some fantastic singers to be sure, but actual players…uh…no.  If you doubt me, just think of the Runaways, Hole, Go Go’s, Rachel Rachel, The Donnas, Vixen, or The Bangles as reference points. The three women Felix chose couldn’t have performed their way out of a wet paper bag.

3)     There had to be two of every instrument. Now, in the 70s the phenomenon of double guitars came into vogue for harmonizing leads, and groups like Lynyrd Skynyrd and Thin Lizzy truly pulled it off with aplomb.  There were even southern rock groups that had two drummers (Allman Brothers, Marshall Tucker, and The Outlaws come to mind).  I’m not sure what was actually accomplished with twice the rhythm—especially when they were often playing the same patterns--but at least it was fun during their drum duets.  But why in the name of all that is holy, would a band need two BAD keyboardists, and even more puzzlingly, two bassists? I still chuckle every time I think of it. 

I had never heard Felix Pappalardi’s Creation before the night they opened for the incomparable Gentle Giant at the Riviera Theater in Chicago in July of ’77.  After their “performance” I had no intention of EVER wanting to hear them again. Hence, I am not at liberty to neither recite song titles nor give a blow-by-blow account of the interplay between the members.  But only one word comes to mind when I reflect on what I heard that night: cacophony.  Webster’s defines it thus: “a disagreeable or discordant sound, full of dissonance.”

The fact that they were chosen to open the show for Gentle Giant only enflamed the problem.  You see, G.G. was arguably the most musically intense rock band ever assembled.  Each of the five members could play at least four instruments well.  It was not odd to see them switch with each other DURING a song.  Their compostitions were complex, yet rollicking. They sang amazingly layered harmonies under intriguing lyrics. Their showmanship was Pythonesque. And it was all pulled off impeccably.  As a result, their fan base was rabid, and opinionated to the nth degree.  Opening acts were often mercilessly booed off stage.

But even the 2,000 strong Giantites packed into that old vaudeville palace were stunned by the sheer ineptitude they were experiencing with Pappalardi’s ensemble.  As they ended their first song, there was some scattered applause and a smattering of boos—but mostly jaw-dropping amazement of how bad it sounded and looked. However, as the boorish onslaught continued, word somehow made its way around the hall, so that with the end of each heave-inducing number, the audience would simply sit in mocking silence.  No boos, No catcalls.  Not even the meagerest of “golf claps.”  I do recall after one particularly frightful offering--as Felix paused during the introduction of the next “tune”--someone with practiced skill in the art of fake flatulence let fly with the largest mouth fart one could imagine.  Even those of us in the balcony heard it.  And it was met with gales of laughter. After another selection someone bellowed “I’ll PAY you more if you’ll just stop!” You could tell the band was becoming increasingly aware of the bitter acrimony being exhibited.

It was so awkward, and the Giant fans were becoming bolder as they reveled in their unified derision. The audience became much more the show than what was on the proscenium. After forty minutes of enduring this torture, Felix finally announced “This will be our last song,” to which one fan bellowed “Thank bloody Christ for that!” Waves of derisive glee swept the hall. Upon finishing their magnum opus, the crowd rose to its feet in mock adulation, cheering their departure. 

Maybe Felix was feeling a bit uppity, or maybe he was even delusional, but he gathered his oriental sextet stage left, and they boldly marched back out towards the throng for what they must’ve felt was a well-earned encore. I’ve never seen anything like what ensued: as one, the entire audience yelled “NO!” and was pointing back to whence they came. Some were even throwing popcorn boxes, cups, wadded paper—I think I even saw a hush puppy shoe fly towards those addled artisans.

Realizing the error in his assessment, Felix and his buffoons immediately did an about face and marched back to the bowels of the Riviera. I would not be surprised if the band broke up right then and there. One thing’s for sure, they never appeared in Chicago again.  And no further albums were forthcoming.

Was it cruel?  Yes.  Was it deserved? To some degree, yes.  Was it hilarious?  Absolutely. Bands need to be prepared to take their lumps.  Just four years before, Gentle Giant, replete with their violins, vibes, glockenspiels, saxophones, trumpets, flutes, wooden recorders, olde English harmonies, and rock instrumentation, had their first U.S. tour opening for….Black Sabbath.  Talk about your baptism by fire!  But they survived it, learned from it, and became a better band in the long run. 

Creation, however, ended due to their trials...and never was “survival of the fittest” more apropos. I just wish I could rinse that malodorous melodious-less stench out of the recesses of my brain.   

Who was the worst opening act you ever endured?

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Heaven on Earth


Ray Waddle of the Nashville Tennessean, gives voice to N.T. Wright’s theological interpretation about the Kingdom of Heaven as it should be…
An indispensable buzzword of this partisan moment is silo: Left or right, secular or religious, we sit in hardened rival silos of filtered information, snug, smug and untouched by new data, better arguments, or the voices of neighbors and other strangers.
The figure of Jesus suffers from this odd contemporary lack of a meeting of minds. Two siloed groups notably jostle for dominance. The skeptical wing says Jesus was merely a good man, if he existed at all. A conservative wing regards him as God’s Son who came from faraway heaven to take away our sins, then went back to heaven beyond the skies and will return harshly to judge the world.
But what if the point of Jesus was to tell people that God is in charge of the world right now and urges everyone to get to work to make this newly incorporated kingdom a success? What if Jesus came not to teach people how to get into distant heaven but to enact God’s kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven,” as he said in the Lord’s Prayer?
N.T. Wright, a scholar-writer and a former Anglican bishop, is considered a leading British interpreter of Christian faith, a successor to C.S. Lewis. For years now, he has been thinking his way past the two entrenched stories about Jesus, re-reading Scripture, questioning some old stubborn misreadings. At stake is the rescue of the faith from hardened arteries and terminal boredom.
His latest book, Simply Jesus, takes up the theme: God’s new creation is breaking in, and Jesus embodies what God wants done. God installed Jesus to act on his behalf. Jesus forgave; he healed; he said love one another. “Seek first the kingdom of God,” Jesus said.
Wright defines heaven
In this bleeding world, all that might sound like pious nonsense. But in Wright’s eyes, the evidence grows that God is in charge despite it all. Good is infiltrating. “Jesus has all kinds of projects up his sleeve,” Wright says.
The unpredicted emergence of the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission wouldn’t have happened without faith in God, he argues. Neither would the Jubilee movement to reduce the debt of poor nations if churches hadn’t acted. A million neighborhood ministries that aid at-risk youngsters or older adults wouldn’t get done if believers didn’t care and God’s rule didn’t have a foothold.
From his Bible reading, Wright concludes God intends to be the world’s sovereign today, not a distant future hope. This is uncomfortable news to those who thought they could despairingly give up on human society and place their bets on the Second Coming. Think again, Wright says. Heaven isn’t what we assumed.
“People who still think that ‘heaven’ is a long way away, up in the sky, and that that’s where Jesus has gone, imagine that the second coming will be an event somewhat like the return of a space shuttle from its far-off orbit. Not so. Heaven is God’s space, God’s dimension of present reality.” Jesus’ return means heaven and earth will one day come together and be present and transparent to each other, Wright declares.
Earth and heaven have overlapped already at least once: in the life of Jesus. The task is to expand that overlapping terrain.
Wright imagines the real world when Jesus is running it: “The poor in spirit will be making the kingdom of heaven happen. The meek will be taking over the earth, so gently that the powerful won’t notice until it’s too late. The peacemakers will be putting the arms manufacturers out of business. Those who are hungry and thirsty for God’s justice will be analyzing government policy and legal rulings and speaking up on behalf of those at the bottom of the pile.”
This kingdom campaign beckons hearts and minds to venture out of their silos. Will skeptics be moved to see religion as a force for humane political reform and not a force of nay-saying and violence? Can rapture-ready believers behold this world as an arena for change and not a hopeless orb of iniquity to be blown to bits by divine wrath ASAP?
Such a cascade of miracles starts first with imagination. The Bible is still stirring dreams and rumors of a new heaven and even a new earth.
Columnist Ray Waddle, a former Tennessean religion editor, now lives in Connecticut.