I Just Wanna Get Warm

Such an honest prayer from Mark Heard on a cold and clammy January day such as this...

The mouths of the best poets

Speak but a few words

And then lay down

Stone cold in forgotten fields

Life goes on in this ant farm town

Cold to the lifeblood underfoot

All talk and no touch

And I just wanna be real

I just wanna be real

The colors here are monochrome

Studies in one shade of grey

The good times and the hard times

Cut from the same grey cloth

And all the fires that crackle here

Consume but do not burn

All light and no heat

And I just wanna get warm

I just wanna get warm

The days they rattle past me

Like a tunnel round a train

Landscapes and heartaches

I don't know what I feel

All I know is my condition

Is worse than I can tell

The small talk and the slow burn

And I just wanna be healed

I just wanna get well

There are things I should remember

But I have forgotten how

I'm all tied up with no time

Trying do too much

And the thoughts that I've avoided

Are the ones I need right now

Like a warm wind and love's hand

And I just wanna be touched

And I just wanna be real

And I just wanna be well

And I just wanna be healed

And I just wanna be warm

Written by Mark Heard
© 1991 Ideola Music/ASCAP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrog4-oHSXg&feature=related

God Reveals Himself On His Own Schedule

From one of my favorite columnists in today's Nashville Tennessean:

It lasts only a few days, maybe just a few minutes — the still point of the new year, a moment for getting some perspective on past and future before the slam of routine returns. Where will spiritual conditions take us next in a year of election politics and apocalyptic dreams?

Popular images of God shift with alarming speed. I remember the excitement around The Prayer of Jabez back in 2000, a book about an Old Testament prayer that hopes to bring results (spiritual, material) to those who pray it. It met an ancient yearning for a formula to harness divine power.

Then 9/11 changed the subject. Prayers to a domestic deity who always says yes fell out of sync with an era of mass killing and savage war.

In 2003, the fictional Da Vinci Code hit the scene with a new challenge. It was going to blow the lid off Christianity, revealing church history as a conspiracy of lies. It would prepare the way for a liberating esoteric spirituality, beholding a gnostic Creator alien and superior to the all-too-human God of the Bible.

It had a good run. Yet nearly a decade later, in the real world of recession and suffering, there’s no surge in gnostic churches.

This year’s presidential election will push conversation about God in other directions. It will focus arguments on American exceptionalism — the belief that we are uniquely blessed as a nation, which God sponsors if we remain God-fearing.

Or our policy debates could awaken images of a darker god, one who presides over dreams of violence and deep distrust of other people, other Americans, in a society armed to the teeth.

We’re already hearing references (and jokes) about yet another scenario — the end of history as we know it, come this December, which marks the termination point of an ancient Mesoamerican calendar, allegedly set to trigger global upheaval. This sounds exciting — or terrifying — to millions. It all depends on one’s own temperament, how one already feels about the future, the cosmos and God.

Whether ignored or not, sober arguments all year long will say Mayan time calculations are harmless, irrelevant and mean nothing about the end of anything.

Then there’s another viewpoint — a biblical idea that won’t get airtime, political sponsorship or super PAC money. But it will get the last word: God remains hidden for God’s own reasons. God won’t be teased out or figured out or outguessed.

Franz Kafka once remarked: “God dwells in darkness, and that is a good thing, because without the protecting darkness we should try to overcome God. That is our nature.”

Another fateful year rises, bringing fevers and revelations, with human nature balancing between dread and grace.

Columnist Ray Waddle, a former Tennessean religion editor, now lives in Connecticut. He can be reached atray@raywaddle.com.

Nashville Predators Go For 7th Straight Sellout

Since local ownership really took hold of the Predators three seasons ago, the attendance patterns have climbed steadily from 14,854 per game to the current robust 16,572 per game. Here are some stats to put it all in perspective:

1) With the Predators’ sellout last Sunday vs. Calgary, they attained their sixth sellout in a row, only the second time they have done that in a regular season (in the first year from March 16 thru April 17, 1999).

2) If they sellout this Thursday night, Jan. 5^th, when they take on the Dallas Stars, that will set a new record for consecutive sellouts in the regular season. There is plenty of reasons to make this game attractive: The Preds are battling Dallas in the points standings of the Western Conference; the hated Mark Fistric, who concussed our Captain, Shea Weber, with a cheap elbow to the head 12 days ago, will be playing for Dallas; and it’s College Night, meaning that all university students with an I.D. can get in the game at half price and receive big discounts on food and drinks.

3) With the last sellout vs. Calgary on Sunday, they now have 11 on the season, which sets a new record for the most through 20 home games. (breaking the old record from Season Two).

4) If they continue on the pace they are, they will eclipse their all-time average attendance record of 16,599 established in Season 2. They are currently averaging 16,572 after 20 games, and we know that attendance always gets even better after the holidays going down the second half stretch.

5) The Preds are currently filling Bridgestone Arena capacity at an average of 96.8%

6) The all-time record for Predators sellouts in a regular season is 20 in Season 2. It looks like they have a good shot of reaching 22 or 23 this season. There is actually the potential to make it 25 which would be more than the previous 3 seasons combined.

7) The Predators have not had a crowd under 14,000 since Dec. 5th of '09 (two years ago).

8) 16 out of 20 games so far this season have been 16,000+

9) The Preds are currently ranked 20th in the NHL in attendance. But if they were to sellout every single game, they could only go up one position to 19th (due to Bridgestone being relatively small capacity-wise by NHL standards).

10) Nashville is substantially ahead in avg. attendance over franchises in markets double, triple, and even five times as large like Colorado, Florida, Anaheim, New Jersey, Long Island, Dallas, and Phoenix.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAQGX9cBDQM

Things are looking good from a fiscal perspective at 5th and Broadway in Smashville!

2011 Year End Inventory

As 2011 comes to a close, it’s always fun to look back on what I partook in. I keep a pretty thorough calendar, so the following is culled from glancing through my records of the past 12 months (this is what consumes time on a boring flight across the country). Here’s a sampling of what I was involved with this year…

WORK (It’s not so much a job as it is “a calling”):

7,856 needy third world children sponsored through 29 radio campaigns our

Radio Department at Compassion International organized

Represents approximately $17.9 million over the next 5 years for good health, education,

nutrition, clothing, Spiritual encouragement, and opportunities for these kids

$751,000 raised from Water of Life campaigns on 27 stations/networks that will provide

clean water for 13,600 families during their lifetimes.

5 radio marathons hosted in different cities

7 additional radio interviews regarding Compassion’s outreach

4 conventions/retreats

3 overseas trips as where I was group leader (Mexico, Nicaragua, and Guatemala)

96 conference calls

TRAVEL:

52 (including my 1,700^th) flights going through 23 different airports covering 40,200

miles.

41 cities in 18 states and 7 countries

1 new country visited (Spain), for a lifetime total of 50.

16 different rental vehicles

19 different hotels

4,840 road miles while on the job/vacation

80 days on the road

WRITING:

60% finished with manuscript of my second book, tentatively titled, Riff Rock:

Confessions of a Not-So-Holy Roller

63 blogs for MarkAHollingsworth.com, Blogger, Facebook, MySpace

Over 5,000 e-mails/social networking posts

READING:

I read 34 books this year. Here are my faves…

What Good is God? Philip Yancey

Far and Away, Neil Peart

Jesus, My Dad, and the CIA, Ian Morgan Cron

Evolving in Monkey Town, Rachel Held Evans

Zion’s Christian Soldiers, Stephen Sizer

Dakota, Kathleen Norris

Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery, Eric

Metaxes

The Sermon on the Mount, Emmet Fox*

The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers*

58: Fast Living, Scott Todd

The Poverty and Justice Bible (at least 48 different authors) *

*re-read

Also read…

Over 320 newspapers

Over 100 magazines

Over 150 articles on-line (research for book)

Over 500 Facebook Profiles

Over 6,000 e-mails/social networking messages

FILM:

I saw 114 films in theaters and on DVD in ’11. Here are my faves….

True Grit

Black Swan

Rabbit Hole

The Illusionist

Of Gods and Men

Bill Hicks: American

I AM

Super 8

Tree of Life

Blue Like Jazz

The Help

Moneyball

Midnight in Paris

The Way

The Swell Season

PJ20

Ides of March

Margin Call

Hugo

The Descendents

We Bought a Zoo

NHL 24/7: Penguins vs. Capitals

Martin Luther King: Beyond the Dream

Stevie Wonder: Live at Last in London

Reparando

Back and Forth: The Foo Fighters

Win, Win

Rush: Time Machine Tour

MUSIC:

I purchased 35 CD’s and listened to hundreds more albums. Here are my new faves from ‘11

Transatlantic: More Never is Enough, Live in Tilburg and Manchester

Neal Morse, Testimony 2

e band, The E-Files, 1970-72

Patsy Moore, Expatriates

Foo Fighters, Wasting Light

Tally Hall, Good and Evil

Tally Hall, Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum

Shawn Phillips, Living Collaboration

Smalltown Poets, Christmas

David Wilcox: Live at Eddie’s Attic

I saw 49 concerts/speaking engagements…here are the most memorable:

Burlap to Cashmere, 3^rd and Lindsley, Nashville, TN

Neal Morse Band, Hinton Hall, Murfreesboro, TN

Rush, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH

Daniel Amos, Smyrna, TN

Bob Seger and Silver Bullet Band, Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, TN

U2/Florence and the Machine, Vanderbilt Stadium, Nashville, TN

Tally Hall, 3^rd and Lindsley, Nashville, TN

Heywood Banks, Zanies, Nashville, TN

David Wilcox, Bluebird Café, Nashville, TN

SUNDRY:

45 Nashville Predator hockey games

41 gatherings of Curious Souls support group

92 business and/or friendship lunches

10^th year as member of Servant Leadership Council for The Village Chapel

Interviewed for Gold Record: 50 Years of Nashville Hockey History DVD

12 parties/picnics

1 replastered/repainted dining room

1 new backyard garden yielding potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, squash, okra, and carrots

1 lower abdominal hernia surgically repaired

Rock Song of the Year

My selection for Rock Song of the Year is the Foo Fighter’s “Walk” from their album Wasting Light. Every time I hear this I am reminded of the story of the Prodigal Son that Christ told in the 15^th chapter of Luke. Read the story then consider the lyrics from the point of view of the son as he realizes his forgiveness and the chance to start over as you listen to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KURb52giNfM

There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, 'Father, I want right now what's coming to me.'

So the father divided the property between them. It wasn't long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any.

That brought him to his senses. He said, 'All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I'm going back to my father. I'll say to him, Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.' He got right up and went home to his father.

When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.'

But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time (from The Message).

A million miles away

Your signal in the distance

To whom it may concern

I think I lost my way

Getting good at starting over

Every time that I return

I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough?

Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days?

We built these paper mountains

And sat and watched them burn

I think I found my place

Can't you feel it growing stronger?

Little conqueror

I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

Now!

For the very first time

Don't you pay no mind

Set me free again

You keep alive a moment at a time

But still inside a whisper to a liar

To sacrifice but knowing to survive

The first to find another state of mind

I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign

Forever, whenever

I never wanna die

I never wanna die

I never wanna die

I'm on my knees

I never wanna die

I'm dancing on my grave

I'm running through the fire

Forever, whatever

I never wanna die

I never wanna leave

I'll never say goodbye

Forever, whatever

Forever, whatever

I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough?

(“Walk” by Foo Fighters from Wasting Light, 2011)

Here’s a version of the band playing it on Saturday Night Live. What passion from lead singer/composer Dave Grohl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjOUZnlkOaI&feature=related

And just for good measure, an solo acoustic version by Dave Grohl :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT8TIzsRvhc

The Risk of Birth, An Advent Poem

This is no time for a child to be born,

With the earth betrayed by war & hate

And a comet slashing the sky to warn

That time runs out & the sun burns late.

That was no time for a child to be born,

In a land in the crushing grip of Rome;

Honour & truth were trampled by scorn-

Yet here did the Saviour make his home.

When is the time for love to be born?

The inn is full on the planet earth,

And by a comet the sky is torn-

Yet Love still takes the risk of birth.

Madeleine L'Engle (1973)

The First Time I Saw "It's a Wonderful Life"

It was a frigid night, Dec. 31, 1979. Thirty-two years have passed, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I had sulked-in to my empty apartment after yet another forgettable New Year’s Eve “celebration” with dozens of other lonely singles trying to mask our insecurities with loud music, bland party food, and tepid alcohol. I even made out with a girl I’d only met an hour earlier when the clocks and calendars made the big change. We played tonsil hockey for a while, but it was apparent that neither of our hearts were really invested.

My three roommates were out of town for the holidays and our place was somber. The existential ache made me restless despite the advanced hour. I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a few moments; my deep sighs undergirded by the muted beating of my blue heart.

What am I doing with my life? What has it amounted to? I muttered to myself. In the stillness I pondered what Kierkegaard said, “We make merry noise at the beginning of each new year to distract ourselves from the macabre sound of grass growing over our graves.” The silence was deafening…an oppressive weight.

I leaned over to the dresser next to my bed and flipped-on the ten inch Zenith black and white TV to further distract my soul. I don’t know what I was expecting to find at 2:40 AM. There were only seven channels to choose from in Chicago back then, and several of them were already in test-pattern mode. But when I clicked over to Channel 32 on the UHF dial, I saw the beaming grin of Jimmy Stewart as he was describing the size of a globetrotting suitcase.

Oh, good ol’ Jimmy…I like the characters he plays, I thought. I always had an affinity for Stewart for his acting and choice of roles, but also because I was born in the same little hospital room in Indiana, PA that he was. My early years were spent in that county seat located an hour east of Pittsburgh, and always smiled in the realization that he had maintained that distinctive accent: “Awwww shucks. Whaaat’s in that bwox? “

Whether it was light comedy like The Philadelphia Story and Harvey, or westerns like Winchester 73 and Who Shot Liberty Valance, or dramas like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Rear Window, I loved the pathos that Jimmy brought to the screen. Having seen dozens of his films, many multiple times, I thought I was well versed on his repertoire. But as I watched for several minutes I realized I had never seen this one before. I didn’t have a TV Guide, and had no idea how far into the movie I was (turns out I had missed the first ten minutes or so).

Being drawn into the story of this loveable George Bailey, I crawled under my bedspread and settled-in. After one of the commercial breaks finished, an announcer said, “We now return to Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Hmmm, you learn something new every day, I thought. I had never heard of this one, but I was intrigued with how the narrative was unfolding: this likeable Everyman who kept making sacrifices for others but was feeling trapped by circumstances not allowing him to break out and do all that he had been dreaming of for decades.

I also found Donna Reed extremely fetching as Mary. Being a baby-boomer, I was quite aware of her television days as an All-American mom on The Donna Reed Show in the late fifties/early sixties, but had never seen her in her mid-twenties like in this film. What a dish! But beyond her lovely charms, I found myself drawn to her character, Mary Hatch, because of her humility, common sense, and commitment.

Different scenes with George registered with me on that first viewing:

• - Interacting with his dad at the dinner table as they discussed breaking out of preconceived expectations.
• - The kissing scene with Mary while they are sharing a phone receiver was so much more passionate and meaningful than the French session I had earlier that night that cute blonde.
• - Dressing-down Mr. Potter while defending his father’s honor.
• - Reasoning with clients not to lose hope at the Building and Loan when another bank run hit in 1933.
• - Being greeted by his new bride in their formerly “haunted” home.
• - His flaring temper while yelling at Uncle Billy over losing the money, as well as losing it with his children and then destroying all the architectural models and maps he had of his dreams in his den.
• - Praying through tears at Martini’s Bar, then promptly getting punched in the mouth. “That’s what I get for praying,” he mumbled as he got off the floor from the blow.
• - Once he is granted his wish that he’d never been born he begins to realize the interconnectedness of our lives.
• - His wild gratefulness upon the dissipation of the frightening vision of a world without his life.
• - The sheer exultation of all his friends and family so willing to come to his aid in a grave time of need.
• - At the end, the celebration of a community.

As the film came to a close with that message from Clarence, his guardian angel, that “No man is a failure who has friends,” the tears were rolling down my cheeks. What a reminder that what we give for others is much more satisfying than anything we can try to posses or attain on our own.

The next day I drove over to my folk’s house for a New Year’s Day dinner, and asked them if they had ever seen It’s a Wonderful Life?

“Oh my, yes,” my Mom said. “That’s a good one, but most people have forgotten it.”

I set about researching everything I could find on this Capra classic. It was the first film Stewart did after returning from service in World War II. And even though it did reasonable business at the box office and received nice reviews, it was hardly a hit during its theatrical release. As the years passed, Stewart did dozens more films, and It’s a Wonderful Life was simply a slight blurb in his massive list of cinematic accomplishments, and all but forgotten by the time the 70s rolled around.

But then, with the proliferation of UHF stations coming on the scene, many programmers were looking to fill slots at holiday time. The folks at Liberty Films, who originally financed It’s a Wonderful Life, had failed to re-register their copyright, and the film became “public domain” in 1973. So, these upstart stations could air a film like that without having to pay any royalties. With each passing year, another few stations would add it into their holiday line-ups. It wasn’t considered one of Stewart’s big hits, so it was relegated to ultra-late night viewings.

And that’s what I stumbled across on that icy evening over three decades ago. I began telling all my friends about it. I located articles, interviews, short documentaries, and eventually a book that included the entire script and hundreds of photos from behind the scenes. More and more stations began playing it each season, and legions of others were discovering it for the first time as well. By the late 80s, it was considered essential Christmastime viewing by most everyone I know. In Stewart’s pantheon on great performances, it is now hailed as his best and most beloved. Writer/Director Frank Capra made many other Oscar-winning films. But he came to embrace It’s a Wonderful Life as his most treasured offering.

I’ve seen it at least forty times, and can recite nearly every line word for word. And it has now come full-circle in that it is once again gracing the silver screen at theaters across the country every Christmas season. There’s nothing like seeing it at Nashville’s historic Belcourt Cinema with hundreds of others all reveling in the common bonds of friendship, steadfastness, and sacrifice that are modeled so powerfully in this gift of a film. As the house lights come up with the singing of “Auld Lang Syne” and the Christmas bells ringing-out the exultation of a life well lived, most of us are wiping away tears of joy as we all smile knowingly to each other.

If you’d like to join me in seeing it yet again this year in Nashville, come to the Belcourt’s 7 PM showing (one of over two dozen in the week leading up to Christmas) on Friday, Dec. 23^rd. We’ll meet in the lobby at 6:40 to try to sit together. Afterwards we’ll adjourn to Fido’s for coffee or hot chocolate to discuss what this movie stirs in each of us. To find out how to order tix in advance (recommended) go here:

http://www.ticketsnashville.com/WebSales/Pages/TicketSearchCriteria.aspx?evtInfo=42490~3a28c818-27b3-492b-8c64-14556ad966cd&epguid=e8dfbc7c-00ea-47f0-afa9-285fd4b1aba7&

Let me know if you’re coming so I can be on the lookout for ya. : )