Big Sky Country

Montana is called “Big Sky Country” and it is quite apt for that state and the rest of the rambling Great Plains of the U.S. and Canada.  Without the distractions of gleaming buildings, cell towers, high tension power lines, blaring signage, and swarming arteries jammed with garish SUV’s and hulking trucks cluttering my immediate view at ground level it’s much easier to be overtaken with the immensity of what is above me.

How I enjoy traversing out to an obscure spot on the map, scaling an unnamed hump, and soaking in a 360 degree unobstructed view.  But it’s usually not the terrestrial that wows me—it’s the ever-changing terra firma that dominates the scene.

And if you hear the wind blow

The breeze can catch your eye

And if you feel the sunlight

Straight from the sky

Away from the noise and the madness

All you have to do is pray

(Glass Harp, “Look in the Sky,” Glass Harp, 1970)

Early on a summer day in remote Nebraska the horizons are an opaque blue that grow to deeper azure as your eyes ascend higher. It is so gradual and yet so obvious.  Lying still on my back, I watch patiently as time progresses.  Early on, the canopy is crystal clear, but as the day unfolds the moisture begins to accumulate, and wisps evolve into clouds, and then often dissipate for no discernable reason.  It’s as if an invisible artist moistens a canvas then decides to wipe clean what was just painted.

These ever-changing puffs seem to move at a relaxed pace in the morning.  One the size of a small county takes the shape of a hand, with fingers extending for miles.  But within 20 minutes it simply evaporates into nothingness, except for the tip of the ring finger.  From whence do they come…and where do they go?

The immensity of it is so very good for my soul. Contrary to what I would often think, being made to feel small by the sweep of God’s workmanship—even the most temporal—gives me much needed perspective.

The sunshine in mountains sometimes lost

the river can disregard the cost

and melt in the sky warmth when you die

were we ever warmer on that day a million miles away

we seemed from all of eternity

(Yes, “South Side of the Sky,” Fragile, 1973)

I recall in South Dakota seeing every type of cloud imaginable in just one scene.  Hazy billows to the north with little broods of baby puffs in tow. To the east were celestial saucers interspersed with serrated cotton-like feathers that were becoming heavy and gray on their underside.  To the southeast was a heavenly sea of rippling waves moving towards some undetermined shore.  Beneath, it cast shadows that skimmed across the vast fields like gossamer sheets.

To the south was a mass that resembled the underside of a gaseous crab treading water…snuggling low as if trying to hatch. I saw a quarter of a rainbow glistening beneath an already misting cloud.  It was that time late in each day where the rain often falls in violent displays.

To the northwest were pulsating amoeba-like globules with a singular orb glowing from within.  The sun works in concert with these heavenly hordes to create the most amazing non-stop dramas over our heads if we would just take the time to look up. As I craned my neck backwards I saw cotton tufts dashing by whose bottoms were flattened evenly across an unseen barometric glass ceiling less than a mile above me.

But it was to the west where the real show was beginning.  Aeriform battalions were marshalling forces for a late-afternoon siege…seemingly in ordered cadence and on the march.  They were going to clash with a Gibraltar-like thunderhead mushrooming in the southwest. Between the two combatants the open air was being closed off, with sunlight smearing the edges.  Virgas were beginning to sweep downward like tentacles from a jellyfish. Lightning shards crackled in the distance.

The clouds prepare for battle

In the dark and brooding silence

Bruised and sullen storm clouds

Have the light of day obscured

Looming low and ominous

In twilight premature

Thunderheads are rumbling

In a distant overture...

Just when it appeared that they had completely smothered any solar intervention, suddenly spectacular radiating pillars perhaps forty miles long burst through a crevasse creating a Jacob’s Ladder that would put even the most powerful photon torpedoes in Gene Rodenberry’s imagination to shame. 

All at once, the clouds are parted

Light streams down in bright unbroken beams...

Follow men's eyes as they look to the skies

The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams...

(Rush, “Jacob’s Ladder,” Permanent Waves, 1981)

But those late day melees with all the accompanying salvos rolling and reverberating across the flatlands are often swept away in mere moments…and after the rain dampens the heat that has built throughout the day, all that atmospheric bombast disperses before me over the course of the next hour.  The sky is once again cleansed…and so is my cluttered heart.

It’s all so lofty, in the truest sense of the word.  It’s ethereal…and yet deeply resonates within me.  In all the non-stop energy of the wild blue yonder, I sense a profound purposefulness.  Practicality is addressed through the cycles of wind, rain, and sun.  But the soul is also replenished by the vaporous vitality of it all…and the sneak peak at what’s to come once I’m finally on the other side. 

You made the climb up to the crest
Seeing it all ahead of the rest
And your expression showed the wonder of the place
Looking westward with the sunlight on your face

In the wide-open sweet someday
Climbing over the ridge top to finally see the view
All of us go there alone
Crossing over to home
In the vista
The wide-open sweet someday
The wide open vista

(David Wilcox, “Vista,” Vista, 2006)

Tony Campolo and other writers reflect on my book, Embracing the Gray

Along with all of the enthusiastic feedback from readers on Amazon.com about my book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, there have also been many positive reviews from other writers.  Here are some of those reflections…

Embracing the Gray provides a description of someone who has shied away from simplistic Christianity. Mark Hollingsworth carries us through his spiritual highs and lows as he relates his journey towards a mature faith and lifestyle. Those of us who know next to nothing about the contemporary music scene can learn much about the messages of what a younger generation devours. Mark understands this world, and artists he has known and been influenced by help give poetic weight as we read through this memoir. He is an excellent storyteller, but the reader should not think that Mark’s stories are only told to entertain. They have layered meanings and lead to thoughtful reflections. Embracing the Gray gets two enthusiastic thumbs up from me.

-Tony Campolo (author of 37 books, world-renowned speaker)

I have known Mark for quite a few years now and his interest and sensitivity have always impressed me. However, Embracing the Gray goes much deeper into the waters of this brave heart. Mark has a communicational style that is both conversational and poetic; a union of the heart and mind that is at once compelling, challenging and inspirational. I highly recommend the book and the man. 

-Neal Morse (Author of Testimony, recording artist, song writer, producer of 11 solo albums, and 12 others with Spocks’ Beard, Transatlantic, and Flying Colors)

Check out the book, Embracing the Gray, by long-time friend Mark Hollingsworth—all-around world-saver and critical figure in the history of spiritual music. We traveled some of the same spiritual search together. I highly endorse it.

-Kerry Livgren (Author of Seeds of Change, primary songwriter, guiatrist, and keyboardist for Kansas)

Listening and Telling. We all have a story; but not all of us have paid much care or attention to it. Mark Hollingsworth has listened to his story well, and he has given us the gift of sharing what he's heard. Humorous. Poignant. Hopeful. Riddled with sorrow in some places and drenching with joy in others, Embracing the Gray is well worth your time. 

-Winn Collier (author of Holy Curiosity, Restless Faith, Deeper Walk, and regular contributor to Relevant Magazine)

The glorious paradox of no-nonsense faith. Anyone who has spent a few hours around Mark Hollingsworth knows his conversational references to culture, politics, the Good Book and the good fight span a really broad horizon. Hollingsworth has also led a truly fascinating life, and has the wit and word-smithing at his disposal to make his journey into a really entertaining read. Embracing the Gray is a delightful, sometimes dizzying account of Mark's adventures that demonstrates his gifts as a cultural commentator and a writer worth reading. Hollingsworth pulls no punches as he rolls through episodes of his life in the music industry and ministry to the poor, rubbing shoulders with rock royalty and desperately at-risk children, and coming of age between Vietnam and Van Halen. Having said all that, I've barely scratched the surface of the remarkable range of subjects Hollingsworth addresses with unflinching honesty-- and then draws a beeline to his faith, and how all that experience helped develop him into a truly authentic, thoughtful Jesus-follower. As pastor of a rowdy bunch of mostly Millennials (roughly 18-30 years of age), I am highly recommending Embracing the Gray to them because it provides them a wonderful tool: an example of how to think about faith, as opposed to simply what to think about faith. And to my Boomer contemporaries? Buy it for yourself. If you're a fan of Jesus, contemporary music, social action, Petra, Rush (the group; maybe not Limbaugh for this book), or needing to know that someone else has been through the pain of helping their parents shed the mortal coil with love and dignity, read this book. Then do your grown kids a favor and give it to them to read. (If you're sensitive to salty language, be warned that it makes an occasional appearance in this book. Thus the encouragement to make it available to your "grown children." But please, put some U2 on in the background and read it anyway. You really won't regret it.)

-Steve Wamberg (author of Pinocchio Nation, Surviving a Prodigal, and more)

Simply stunning. Honestly, Mark's life runs parallel to the film "Almost Famous," only it's more exciting. I won't ruin any of the surprises, but I guarantee you'll have several moments where you say to yourself "I can't believe all this happened to one person."  The only book I've ever read with a meeting with U2, and an incident with a drunken, suicidal gunman live just pages apart. And both are true. Loved it!           

-Seth Hurd (author of Hip Hope and Jr. College, What Becky Didn’t Want, and A Grammatical Corrector)

The most engaging, hilarious, gut-wrenching, and inspiring book I've read in a long time. Thanks!

-Zach Bevill (songwriter, lead singer, guitarist for The Farewell Drifters)

What a wonderful piece of writing!  You are a GREAT writer, Bro!  Funny, inspiring, thought provoking, challenging...these are all words I would use to describe this book. I feel enriched after reading it. I laughed out loud on a few of those stories! I hope this is just the first of many. I think it will sell a ton.  Thank you!

                        -Bob Hartman (primary songwriter, and lead guitarist for Petra)

  
I have known Mark for a few years and have read his blog regularly in that time. I have seen and experienced first hand his own willingness to live his faith in an open, honest way, including not just the good times, but the hard questions and difficult circumstances. If you are looking for happy-go-lucky, pat on the back, feel-good themed book, you may want to pick up one of those fluff books. If, however, you want a book that will affirm your own struggles, is easy to read, and at the same time challenges you to take seriously the concepts of God, spirituality and help you in times where you may feel all alone, I couldn't recommend anything as much as Embracing the Gray. Mark writes from a place of honesty that many of us could learn from; his life has been an example; his words will inspire and challenge.

-Mike Furches (author of The Keystone Kid, and columnist for HollywoodJesus.com)

This book is some very beautiful fruit from some very tough seasons in Hollingsworth’s life. 
                        -Kim Thomas (author of Living in the Sacred Now, Finding Your Way

                        Through Grief, and Even God Rested)

A soulful memoir. This is a bold first hand account of the life (thus far!) of Christian music manager and non-profit marketing luminary Mark Hollingsworth. His 3+ decades traveling the globe with performers, friends, and even a few strangers leave a wake of wild stories and one-of-a-kind exchanges. Each chapter explores the soul of a man wrestling with deep doubts, yet also gnawing convictions. In particular, his account of time spent with the young U2 harmonizes book-long themes of tattered, yet intact faith, parsed against diamond-splitting honesty. A read that will inspire thought, and be a reminder of grace. 
                        -Geoff Little (author of Summers)

Mark and I both kind of march to the beat of our own funky drum kit--which is why I'm excited to promote his new book: Embracing the Gray. Mark is one of those admirable, honest Christians who thinks with his heart and his funny bone both engaged and he's one heck of a great writer! You don't wanna miss this one!
                        -Paul Johnson (Dove Award winning composer, producer, artist)

I read Embracing the Gray and what a lovely trip the read turned out to be!  Not only is Mark a keen observer of every person he has ever met, but with great honesty he opens himself up to observation, too. Mark's insightful use of the lyrics of songs to which this seventy- something lady had never paid attention opened a window into the realm of 'young' music and to a place that happened long after I was grown up.   Finally, I've always known that my world was too black and white (just ask my kids!) and I am very grateful for this sometimes painful yet often joyously lighthearted reminder to embrace, not just tolerate what is, and may well remain, quite gray. I very much loved Embracing the Gray.

-Peggy Campolo (contributor for Sojourners, Youthworker Journal, Wittenburg Door, and more)

Mark Hollingsworth has written an awesome book titled Embracing the Gray. It's got wonderful stories about his meetings with U2, Kerry Livgren (Kansas) and his life's journey. Honestly, I couldn't put it down and I highly recommend it.

                        -Rick Altizer (songwriter, recording artist, producer)

On a lazy American Thanksgiving I read through Mark Hollingsworth's EMBRACING THE GRAY and was compelled by the frank honesty that he brought to both his writing and his spiritual journey. There is something wonderfully liberating in coming to grips with our humanness while we still attempt to connect with the Almighty. I resonated most fully with

Mark on this point, that somewhere in his early twenties he found it necessary to lay aside all pretense and simply be honest about his faith (or, at times, lack thereof). I read somewhere that stories are equipment for living, and I am appreciative that Mark has laid out some of his here. Everyone's life contains scripture, a sacred text of their interaction with the Almighty, whether they be conscious of it or not. And Mark's story recounts the full embrace of life's experiences up against the backdrop of a searching soul desperate to make sense of the sometimes elusive fingerprints of grace. 

-David Disabitino (screenwriter, director of Frisbie, The Outlaw Larry Norman)

Amazing stories from one of my true heroes.
                        -John Thompson (author of Raised by Wolves, and editor of True

                        Tunes magazine)

I read the whole book in one sitting. It is fabulous. Meaty stuff. Funny stuff. Encouraging stuff. Mark openly wrestles with so many things that are common to one seeking a relationship with the Creator. My take away was to stay in the Eternal Now with the Ever Present One.

-Pam Mark Hall (songwriter, recording artist)

Love this book! Mark has written a touching and at times hysterical memoir. In particular though, the account of his brother's troubled relationship with his family was quite moving. These are stories of love, faith, loss, and joy that only a writer as adept and honest as Mark could make so three dimensional as to jump off the page. Well worth your time!

-Rick Elias (songwriter, recording artist, producer)

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating.  If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also peruse many reader reviews (97% are Five Stars) at:

http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Gray-Doubters-Resolve-ebook/dp/B004L62CN2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):

http://markahollingsworth.com/Node

My Meager Attempt to Solve the Federal Budget Crisis

As a self described radical moderate, I have to navigate some choppy waters out in the middle of the raging river.  Yes, I know, that means that I am “all wet” much of the time.  ; )  I may tend to lean to the left on social issues that I feel need to be addressed for the poor and justice.  But I lean right in my concern about fiscal issues that need to be managed for the financial solvency of the nation currently, as well as for future generations.

I believe that budgets are moral documents that should reflect the intentions of the people that populate a nation. I realize much of what I propose here is rather utopian, and certainly would be open to much debate and tweaking before it would ever be realistically considered.  And honestly, we’ll be lucky if only a quarter of these concepts were to get consideration. Additionally, I really have no idea if these numbers would actually add-up to what needs to be done to reduce the massive debt and runaway spending. But I think they would all be steps in the right direction. So, here is what I feel--in my radically moderate worldview--needs to be done to work on the fiscal issues confronting this country.

Over the next ten years, the following cuts need to be phased-in:

1)   Reduce all entitlement programs by 25%. Primarily accomplished through cost-cutting of overhead, overcharges, etc.

2)   Reduce military spending by 50% (we currently spend more on military than the rest of the world COMBINED).

3)   Reduce foreign aid to advanced nations by 75%.

4)   No more corporate welfare (like tax cuts to oil companies, mega-farms, etc).

5)   Drastically reduce the overlap and redundancy in government programs. This might pocket at least 5% in savings per year.

Over the same time period, phase-in these tax reforms:

1)   Create and enforce a much simpler tax code based primarily on some basic flat rate (probably around 20%) with very few deductions.

2)   Raise the retirement age to 67.

3)   All businesses pay a 25% fixed tax rate.

4)   All non-profits (including churches) begin paying a 10% tax rate on their income as well as annual property taxes.

5)   All investments get taxed at 20% per year on whatever gains they generate in a given year.

6)   Have a ½ of 1% tax levied on every single trade made on Wall Street.  Whether it is a $200 purchase on several shares of stock, or massive multi-million dollar transaction.

7)   No more out-of country tax shelters unless you have exclusive citizenship elsewhere.

8)   Increase tariffs on products imported from overseas that are also manufactured in this country.

9)   The federal government will be required to have a balanced budget each year--if not, all members of congress will be dismissed with no life-long benefits.

10)  After this is implemented, if there is a certain point where the deficit is reduced and there begins to be a surplus, then put to a public vote the idea of universal healthcare.

11)   Also, if the surplus continues to grow, then there will be once-a-year refund checks sent to everyone based on splitting half of that surplus according the amount that they put into the pie in that previous year. For instance, the people who paid the most in taxes would get the largest refund. The people who paid the least would get the smallest refunds. But this only happens when there is a surplus.

12)  If the deficit grows again, no refunds.

While I’m at it, here are a few other areas that need to be addressed:

Election reform:

1)   There will be massive campaign finance reform where candidates will have a preset maximum cap on what they can spend based on the population of their constituencies. 

2)   Citizens United will be repealed, so no outside money allowed to be spent, either. 

3)   Campaign season for general elections will last 6 weeks.  For primaries it will be 4 weeks for each state/district.

4)   If any candidates are found to exceed these boundaries, they will immediately be removed from the ballot, and all remaining campaign monies in their coffers will be seized.

Lobbying reform:

1)   No more lobbyists.

2)   Only private citizens will be allowed to interact with government employees.

3)   No money will be given to government workers outside of their salary for any reasons whatsoever. If they are found to be doing so, they not only forfeit their jobs and pensions, they also go to prison for five years.

OK, feel free to comment.  Please be kind to me and each other.  I am not posting this to create some sort of political firestorm.  I would just like some thoughtful give and take and what our options are moving forward.  Let’s keep things good-natured, open-minded to various concepts, and let’s keep it focused on the items listed above.  The challenges we face should not be defined by political party or persuasion.  We’re all in this boat together, and hopefully we can solve it together.  : )

Randy Matthews and The Last Temptation of Christ

My dear friend Randy Matthews has never been afraid to blaze some trails.  Whether being one of the first Christian artists to put together a full-fledged rock band, or hanging out with the Hell’s Angels, or suffering through one of the most high-profile “unpluggings” while on stage at the country’s largest Jesus Festival, Randy has tried to be true to himself and honest in his interactions with the gospel as he experienced it.

In the late ‘80s when The Last Temptation of Christ was released in film version by Martin Scorsese, Randy was curious about seeing it, and he asked me in a phone conversation what I had heard about it.  I told him I’d seen it a few nights earlier, and had to work my way past a throng of protesters who were claiming it was cursed of God.  “Consider yourself forewarned,” I chuckled. 

Randy had a rare night off during one of his myriad tours, and while scouring thru the local paper found the only little one-screen art house theater in Denver that was showing it.  He hopped in a cab and was dropped off directly in front of a group of fifty sign-toting, scripture-chanting picketers who were making life miserable for anyone who dared pass in order to see the movie.  It seemed to be working on some folks who sized-up the situation before them, and decided to turn tail and walk away, not wanting to get into a confrontation with some Bible-thumpers.

Not being one to shy away from an interesting venture, Randy smiled broadly as he strode straight through the encircled agitators to purchase a ticket at the box office window.  As he waited for the salesperson to go get some change for his twenty-dollar bill, one of the dissidents dressed in an ill-fitting black suit marched up to him.

“Do you realize that this movie is full of God-hating lies?  That it’s an abomination to all that is holy?”

Randy turned and looked directly at the fellow. “Well, I’ve read some conflicting reviews on it, and thought I should check it out for myself.”

“Don’t you realize that you will be exposed to deception straight from the pit of Hell?” the man blurted.

“I’m a big boy…I think I can discern what lines up with scripture and what is conjecture,” Randy reasoned.  “It’s just one man’s interpretation of what he thinks might have happened.”

“Well, sir, you’re going to have to stand and give an account to a righteous and just God one day for your actions here today, and He will not be pleased,” accused the militant.

Randy then posed a question to his prosecutor as the clerk handed him his ticket and change: “How is it that you know so much about the film?  Have you seen it yourself?”

“”No!” the objector defiantly bellowed.  “But I’ve read the book.”

“So, “ Randy smiled, “I guess you’ll be standing right next to me on that day with God.” 

With a wink and a pat on the guy’s shoulder, Randy concluded, “See you again someday,” and he walked past the befuddled gentleman into the cinema.

I'm An Ungrateful Lout

A few years ago I was in Ecuador visiting homes of people caught in what economists and social workers call “the downward cycle of poverty.”  A nice little handle to put on such a sad scenario.  Over half the world’s population living on less than $2 a day. Families “living” in what would certainly be considered sub-standard conditions.  Sub-human is more like it. 

One family of eight sharing two flea infested, soiled queen size mattresses in mosquito swarmed wetlands along the steamy Pacific coast.  Employment is scarce, and opportunities are almost negligible in these cramped, wreaking barrios full of those who have moved from the countryside in hopes that the big city would deliver both. No running water.  No sewer systems. Dangerous and unpredictable electrical service.  Out of this hopelessness even deeper wounds become manifest: Gangs, the underworld, gambling, prostitution, drug dealing, alcoholism, various STD’s including a dramatic increase in AIDS. And everywhere, a veritable legion of mangy, rabid dogs at nearly every turn shaking and snarling through foamy teeth.

As a well-to-do American, it is a slap in the face.  The most profound reality check that any of us could be confronted with.  I have been around the stench of poverty in my work for over twenty years on four continents.  I’ve seen more than my share of horrific conditions. I’m certainly familiar with it—but I can’t say I ever get used to it. I pray that I never do.

But more profound than the suffering and the overwhelming sense that this debilitating hopelessness continues onward and downward for these people every single day is this paradox: How grateful they are for the good they do have in their lives.  How many lovely, sincere smiles did I see?  How many peels of laughter did I hear?  How many warm embraces, kind greetings, and humble compliments did I receive?  I listened to heartfelt, honest, and truly thank-full prayers of mothers for God’s blessings in their lives. I saw children full of energy and dreams for what could be, despite what appeared to be smothering nightmares.

Flash forward a few days, and I am on my way home to Nashville.  Upon reaching Atlanta at 7 PM for my final connection to Nashville, I discover there will be a two hour delay.  I’ve been up since three that morning and am weary from the hectic week.  I find myself muttering curses under my breath for the inept airlines, the weather system that passed through five hours before that caused all the delays, and the long lines for fast  food.  Then it dawns on me that less than a hundred years ago, it would’ve taken literally months to make the trip via boat all the way around Cape Horn (before the Panama Canal was built), as well as by steam train and wagon once on dry land.  Of course, the people I had just spent the previous week with would’ve gladly “endured” my inconvenience for the chance to simply visit America, let alone return to a splendid, air conditioned house.  They certainly would’ve happily stood in line for an hour just to have a fraction of what I ate on my chinese plate.

Once home, and nestled in my cool waterbed, I was awakened at 2 AM with that ominous feeling in my lower intestine.  Having traveled over the decades, I immediately knew what is in store for several days ahead with “Montezuma’s Revenge.”  This turns out to be a particularly bad batch, including vomiting as well as the traditional “runs.”  I’m up every ten to fifteen minutes making a mad dash to the toilet.  Sometimes I opt to just sit there for long stretches since it seems nearly pointless to go lie down again.  Wave after wave of fluid flushes out of my system.  This continues for seven hours. I ache.  I’m bone tired. I finally nap a bit later on Saturday, but, to my dismay, the cycle begins again later that night, and I have a second sleepless evening in a row with dozens of commode performances.  All told, I lose eight pounds in thirty-six hours.  In the midst of my weary regret over what the hell I could’ve possibly ingested that caused this woe, I am reminded that at least a billion people on this planet live with chronic dysentery for their ENTIRE lives.  This is “normal” for them. I can’t possibly imagine how anyone can function in this way. 

Once recovered, I realize my lawn needs cutting.  I fight through the thick Nashville air, sopped in sweat, battling sneezes and drooling due to allergies (how on earth can any more fluid possibly be coming out of this body?!),  and swatting away aphids, gnats, flies, and wasps in the warm mid-day sun.  As I’m putting my Murray mower back in its storage, I realize that the foundation, siding, and roof of this tool shed is better than what most of the families I visited a few days prior lived in.  And the idea of having green grass, let alone a yard would’ve been completely surreal to them and their children.

While I am regaining some strength after my illness, I decide to go over to a friends house to watch a DVD.  When we are done with our visit, as I start my car, there is a massive “bang” and smoke starts pouring out from under the hood followed by gritty screeches.  My AC compressor died a violent death at that moment.  I waited three hours for an AAA service truck.  The mechanic jerry-rigged a way for me to continue driving for the remainder of the 4^th of July weekend until I could get it into a shop.  We forget the days before prevalent AC in cars, when we used the tried-and-true “4-50 air cooling system” (four windows down at fifty mph).  With temps in the mid-nineties and typical mid-south humidity, any trip in my car for the next few days seemed to compress any further potential stomach problems. It took $1,330 to fix the AC.  That is twice what some of the families I had just met in South America earned for an entire year.  And none of them had ever even sat in an air conditioned car before, let alone had that luxury in their home.  Heck, I didn’t meet one person who even owned a car, and most were lucky to scrape together rent to “live” in the shacks they were in.

It is amazing how God can show us things so clearly in one moment, and then literally a few days later, we can be blinded by our own day-to-day rituals and sense of entitlement.  At my core, I, like most human beings, am a very selfish lout.  I take so much for granted. I am impatient.  I am too quick to blame. I complain and whine too much (if not verbally, then certainly in my spirit).  Bottom line, I am ungrateful. 

May I continue to be reminded, taught, and even disciplined into realizing how very blessed I am.  And in return, may I be all the more gracious, giving, kind, and understanding of those who are not as fortunate as me.  

Ever Feel Like a Small Fry?

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”    -Margaret Meade

“We must be the change we wish to see.”    -Gandhi

Who'd like to change the world?

Who wants to shoot the curl?
Who gets to work for bread?

Who wants to get ahead?
Who hands out equal rights?

Who starts and ends that fight?
And not rant and rave?

Or end up a slave?
Who can make hard won gains?

Fall like the summer rain?
Now every man must be, what his life can be

Who wants to please everyone?

Who says it all can be done?
And still sit up on that fence?

No one I've heard of yet
Don't call me baby

Don't talk in maybes
Don't talk like has-beens

Sing it like it should be
Who laughs at the nagging doubt?

Lying on a neon shroud?
Just gotta touch someone, I want to be

Who wants to sit around?

Turn it up turn it down?
Only a man can be

What his life can be

One vision

One people

One landmass

We are defenseless

We have a lifeline
One ocean

One policy

One passion

One movement

One instant
One difference

One lifetime

One understanding
Transgression

Redemption

One island

Our placemat

One firmament
One element

One moment

One fusion

Yes and one time

-Midnight Oil, “One Country” from Blue Sky Mining, 1989 (Moginie/Garrett)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8WKAc-NdeY