Monday, October 14, 2013

Shakespearean Hockey Taunts

Hockey games not only lend themselves to savage critique of opposing players and on-ice officials, but also allow for creative ways to heap that abuse. Here are some Shakespearean flavored taunts that have been tossed about in Section 303 at Nashville Predator hockey games over the years.  You may wish to employ some of these at your place of employ, your local eatery, or perhaps your house of worship…

·       Thou tottering rude-growing malt-worm
·       Thou surly plume-plucked bum-bailey
·       Thou dissembling half-faced measel
·       Thou jarring idle-headed mammet
·       Thou warped flap-mouthed hedge pig
·       Thou bootless elf-skinned maggot pie
·       Thou fobbing rough-hewn giglet
·       Thou arltess dog-headed flax wench
·       Thou qualling boil-brained nut-hook
·       Thou puking pox-marked knotty-pated scut
·       Thou rank clapper-clawed clotpole
·       Thou milk livered- onion-eyed boar-pig
·       Thou cockered pottle-deep gudgeon
·       Thou reeking sheep-biting joithead
·       Thou fawning spur-galled miscreant
·       Thou wayward hasty-witted moldwarp
·       Thou craven beetle-headed haggard
·       Thou venomed rump-fed minnow
·       Thou droning hell-hated mumble news
·       Thou currish dog-hearted death token
·       Thou bawdy folly-fallen fustilarian
·       Thou fobbing guts-griping hugger-mugger
·       Thou cockered bug-bear dewberry
·       Thou warped swag-bellied lewdster
·       Thou mangled kooty-pated codpiece
·       Thou ruttish ill-nurtured whey-face
·       Thou froward full-gorged barnacle
·       Thou mewling toad-spotted vassal
·       Thou lumpish motley-minded flirt-gill
·       Thou yeasty base court horn beast
·       Thou infectious tardy-gaited foot licker
·       Thou vain beetle-headed joit head
·       Thou beslubbering clay-brained baggage
·       Thou surly fat-kidneyed coxcomb
·       Thou unmuzzled beef-witted pignut
·       Thou paunchy dread-bolted harpy
·       Thou spleeny ticke-brained pigeon egg
·       Thou goatish dismal-dreaming pumpion
·       Thou rougish shard-borne wank splash
·       Thou venomed crook-pated ratsbane
·       Thou clouted pottle-deep fen-suck
·       Thou errant urchin-snouted flap-dragon
·       Thou infectious bat-fowling clack dish
·       Thou goar-bellied dog-hearted varlet
·       Thou impertinent ill-breeding death token
·       Thou spongy dizzy-eyed canker-blossom
·       Thou gleeking fully-fallen puttock
·       Thou frothy common-kissing clotpole
·       Thou logger-headed guts-griping gudgeon
·       Thou mewling earth-vexing apple-john
·       Thou beslubberring half-faced skainsmate
·       Thou dankish fly-bitten lout
·       Thou puny weather-weary strumpet

Any further suggestions?

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