Six years ago I was privileged to be the Best Man at the
wedding of Curtis and Kristen in Chicago.
He was a former intern with my music management company, then a co-worker
at a record label, and eventually a business partner on an internet
merchandising site. We had many a
long talk over his gourmet popcorn blend and lengthy power walks on the outdoor
track when we would workout at the Y.
For years he had been fixated on the idea of relocating to a
major metro area like New York, Boston, or Chicago. He had evolved into a talented computer and internet techie
and felt he would have a better chance at long term work in an area like
that. Besides, he wanted to feel
more of the cosmopolitan buzz of places like The Loop, Greenwich Village, or
The Hub. So he set off on visits
to each of those places to soak in the ambience and explore the job market.
He eventually settled on the idea of Chicago, applied for
work up there, and landed a great gig with a software consulting firm
there. We’ve continued to stay in
touch, and always get together when either of us travels into our respective
towns.
On one such visit over Thanksgiving about ten years ago, we
had Thai food near the “L” (elevated railway) station where he lived in the
Wrigleyville neighborhood of the north side. He introduced me to his new friend, Kristin, who he’d met
through the church where he was finding community.
She and I hit it off immediately. She was also a Wheaton College grad with a faith that had
been thoroughly examined. She was
well read, and drawn to thoughtful film, probing music, and other creative art
forms. Kristin had spent much of
her youth in Europe in her missionary family, and had a good grasp of
international politics. Her sarcastic wit was a terrific bonus. I could see that there was tremendous
potential between the two of them.
As the next few years passed their friendship grew
deeper. It was obvious to all they
were quite fond of each other, and when they finally announced their
engagement, it made sense on every level.
The wedding was a fun gathering of family that rendezvoused
from all corners of the country, and there was a huge contingent of friends
from Wheaton and Belmont Colleges and First Evangelical Free Church of Chicago.
As we were finishing up the scrumptious reception dinner
that featured ribs (I told you they were a unique couple), I got up to offer a
toast.
“Curtis and Kristin, it’s been a blast growing in friendship
with you over the years, and I’m honored that you asked me to be with you here
today.
“I’d like to address Kristin first: I know that as a God-fearing young
Christian woman you would very much like to impress your hubby by being a
stalwart, modern example of a Proverbs 31 woman. However, as most of the females here can attest, a lady like
that has most likely never existed.
“And to Curtis: I bet you would like to mold your romancing
skills around all the vivid concepts outlined in The Song of Solomon. However, since the author of that tome
happened to have five hundred freakin’ wives and countless more concubines, I’m
not so sure that is the most trustworthy source when you are focusing on a
monogamous relationship with your lovely bride.
“As you define your union from here on out, you will most
certainly find times when the differences between genders will become
pronounced. But don’t fall for all
the psycho babble that’s so prevalent today. I saw a bumper sticker not long ago that perhaps should be
our credo: Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it!
“But enough comedy jokes! Seriously, one of the cornerstones of your lives
individually and corporately is your honesty. Please don’t ever lose that with each other. You two both
have loving families represented here, many straight-shooting friends, and a
fantastic church community. Please,
please, please be honest with us and
rely on us when times get tough…as they most certainly will in changing
seasons. Allow us to listen
to you, to cry with you, and to stand with you during the trials that marriage
will bring. And we will certainly
celebrate with you in all the good times as well. We want to be there for you…no
matter what…and we commit to that firmly on this day.
“A songwriter friend of mine was struggling to come up with
a better way of saying ‘I am so in love with you.’ We all know that phrase has pretty much lost all meaning in
a society fixated on self-centered romance. I think he came up with a phrase that defines what I’ve seen
growing between you both in the last several years…and my sincere prayer is
that it will be your mantra as you forge something meaningful together
from here on out.
“When he wrote of his beloved he said: I am wild with care for you.”
Then I raised my glass and everyone else in the room
extended their flasks in their direction.
“So, to Curtis and Kristin: may you two be consumed with the idea of
deep, ongoing passion for each other and for that incredible bond that this day
has launched…through thick and thin…may you always be wild with care for each other! Salud!”
Postscript: Curtis and
Kristin have since relocated to Vermont, where they have started a small farm,
emphasizing organic vegetables. He
still does web consulting, and she is an amazing mom to their precocious toddler
son, Ezra.
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