Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts

Sunday, December 1, 2013

An imperfect gift for those who have it all together


My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing a Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, has been given over a hundred 5 Star Reviews at Amazon.com (97% of all responses). It might be an interesting gift idea for a friend or relative who is going through hard questions about life, faith, and purpose.  Here are some excerpts from readers that have been posted…


When I first set out to read Mark's book, it was with a view to enjoy a fellow road warrior's memoirs and reminisce on my time on the road while I read through stories of his times. Mission accomplished ... but wait, this book is far more than a simple set of stories and memories of being on the road!

Mark's influence in "the biz" is astounding. His depth of experience goes well beyond what I knew of him, taking on perspective and experiences from so many of the past 40 years of music and artists. He can speak with authority on many a friend or acquaintance from the music industry, yet this book is not about Mark, nor is it about the biz; yes, it speaks of him, but it's not about him. Instead, I was surprised to find a depth of insight and a clarity of direction that has been gleaned from a long search for meaning in life.

I found myself laughing, crying, moved beyond emotion to introspection, but ultimately, a powerful, well-written synopsis of a life richly lived. I never saw the end coming in this book. It crept up on me silently and without need of a summary, Mark beautifully wove words to the meaning of embracing the gray. Life is not about either/or, it's about both/and. The insights are so appreciated in this world of extremes where "embracing the pendulum" much more the norm. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Well done, Mark! 
S.L.

Mark Hollingsworth's Embracing The Gray is an amazing journey through one ordinary yet extraordinary man's life and faith. The book is refreshingly truthful. It portrays true humanity and glimpses of the divine. I'd highly recommend this autobiographical novel!  
K.S.


A captivating read. Mark's story draws you in as if you are reading an account that is both familiar and yet at times devastating. I laughed out loud and was brought to tears. His honesty about his doubts and faith called out and validated my own questions as something to embrace rather than try and run from or never face. Even apart from the story of faith that is woven throughout, the experiences of his life are simply fascinating to read.

I am not a quick reader and have left too many books unfinished because they did not hold my attention. I finished this book within a 24 hour period. I have already bought a copy for a Christmas present and may get a few more. I'd recommend this to nearly anyone out there. 
M.D.W.

Tears and laughter.  What a ride! As someone who has traveled a great deal, I could relate to some of the adventures Mark Hollingsworth experienced in his journeys, but that's where the comparison ends. The depth and insight Mark has into the people he met along the way, his keen sense of observation and compassion moved me to tears as I read the book on a flight home. His deep desire to help his fellow man (or woman) both abroad and in his hometown is inspiring, and has caused me to open my eyes for a sharper look for those who need a shoulder, a laugh or words of comfort. Good on you Mark for being a friend to those in need and the caring son and brother that enriched his family. 
S.V.

Loved this book for so MANY reasons! Embracing the Gray had me mesmerized from the very opening. The family dynamics, the questioning mind, the musical influences, the peer group, the range of viewpoints and the writing style that ties it all together really kept my interest from start to finish. Having grown up in a Christian household I had a foundation that I grew up on but I so related to the tragedies and the life events that brought Mark to his place of questioning. I was a wanderer for years and I am a music buff so I was hooked right from the beginning. I admired Mark's courage to step out and question verbally and to challenge his peers in college.

I SO enjoyed reading about his journey with Kerry Livgren (with the band Kansas) and I was happy yet saddened by the unfolding of his relationship with his brother. An unexpected surprise I received was the fact that I was given a new perspective on the music that I grew up on. I went back and listened to the songs Mark talked about in Embracing the Gray, and I love them more today than I did back then. It’s a book that I am so glad to have added to my collection  A+++++ MUST READ!!!
D.H.

I very much enjoyed this book. Mark's sheer honesty regarding his faith and experiences left me in contemplation and wonder. We are reminded that the world is full of darkness and beauty simultaneously. There is heartbreak and there is hope. The structure of this book is such that it is hard to put down. I found myself always curious about what would come next. This is a unique thing, I believe, for a writing of nonfiction. Mark has had an amazing life, and we are very privileged to be given the opportunity to witness his journey.
A.K.

Excellent.  I appreciate Mark's refreshing honesty about his faith, his struggles, and the joy and torment that life in general brings. I was moved to the brink of tears often. The compassion exhibited throughout is inspiring.
B.B.


I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating. You can also check out other reader reviews, as well as order the book in hard copy at this link.  In fact, Embracing the Gray is also available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at this same link.


If you would be interested in purchasing a signed copy, please contact me, and I can work with you directly on any of those requests, or answer any other questions you might have.  I answer all my mail.  : )





Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The long-awaited return of Rick Elias with Jōb


It was a chilly April night in 1990 when I met Rick Elias for the first time. The venerable Exit/In rock club in Nashville was hosting a showcase of various artists as part of the Gospel Music Week convention.  A few weeks before, I had received an advance copy of Rick Elias and the Confessions from Frontline, a small west coast label, and was quite fond of what I heard.  It was guitar-driven Americana with gritty vocals…akin to Springsteen, Mellancamp or Petty…not comparisons often heard in Contemporary Christian Music.  But it was the penetrating, gutsy lyrics that were so honest that really set it apart. Most CCM was rather banal when it came to its message…you really didn’t want the “gatekeepers” to question anything about one’s reality in sharing the gospel message thru song.  It was always best to keep hard questions, doubts, and insecurity out of the equation.  That’s what made this bold album from this unknown entity so compelling, And it only grew with repeated listening.

Rick was kind of hard to miss when he sauntered into the loud music room. He was an imposing 6’ 6” with flowing black hair in a sort of pompadour cut, chiseled features, and covered head-to-toe in black (well worn leather jacket with tassels, frayed jeans, and scuffed biker boots).  He looked like his music sounded: ready to fight for what he believed. Once again, not your typical preppy-looking Christian pop act.

His handlers had flown him in for the convention, but hadn’t landed him any performance slots.  So he was just trying to understand this whole new industry.  He’d been in the southern California club scene for years, close to some major label deals on several occasions, but never quite consummated.  His disappointments had been punctuated with some severe substance abuse issues, and it was in recent years that he had been able to find some peace and hope via a renewed faith that he had abandoned in his late teens. All of this led him to be somewhat flummoxed by all the professional Christians he was encountering at this Music City confab. 

Recognizing him from the cover of that debut CD, I walked up to him and introduced myself, telling him that I thought his album was truly terrific. We talked on and off throughout several sets by other artists, and at one point stepped outside so we could better converse.  He asked what I did, and I shared that I worked with musicians who had a concern for the poor who might like to partner with Compassion International to find sponsors for needy children around the world.  He was intrigued. Thus began a long friendship.

Within weeks we began phone conversations, and I was able to get him added onto an Artist Vision Trip to Guatemala several months later. I thought this particular grouping had great potential to bond significantly.  Rich Mullins and Geoff Moore had both been friends of mine for five years, but had never met. I thought their Midwestern sensibilities to their music along with their desire for realistic discipleship would blend well.  Chuck Tilley, a famed concert promoter, and my boss, Devlin Donaldson (also a much-published rock critic) were also along. My hope was Rick would find some cohorts in his yearning for honest communication, too. We all had a meaningful time engaging with the poor of Guatemala, but also in the fellowship of our own poor-in-spirit conditions. Everyone hit it off right from the get-go, and the rest, as they say, is history.  Not only did deep connections begin across the board, but the seeds for the “ragamuffin band” idea that Mullins had rolling around in his head were birthed on that excursion.

Within a year, Rick and Rich were heading up said band, touring across North America and recording award-winning albums. Rick also did two more solo albums of his own, and made major alliances on soundtracks for films like That Thing You Do, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, as well as TV shows. His notoriety as a producer grew as well.  After Mullins’ tragic auto accident five years later, Rick helped carry the flame with several more Ragamuffin Band albums. 

But with the demise of the CCM industry and ever-tightening playlists at Christian radio in the past dozen years, Rick has been unable to move forward as an recording artist.  He continues writing, producing, and occasionally playing live shows. He’s also a professor at a music school here in Nashville, passing on his deep knowledge of art, craft, and business sense to younger musicians. 

It’s been 13 years since Rick has been in a studio to work on any of his own compositions. Seeing some of his contemporaries launch successful Kickstarter campaigns to raise money for self-released projects, he decided it was time to give that a shot.  The money came in from eager fans that have waited well over a decade to hear more from Elias. And, despite a serious tumble that caused a debilitating shoulder injury in the midst of production, he was able to get his first solo album in over 15 years finished this year, and it is releasing to the public this week.

It is entitled Jōb, and the moniker is appropriate, not just for the long-suffering chronicled above, but also Rick’s desire to probe a thorny theological issue. It isn’t just the ancient Old Testament story that is examined, but also contemporary--perhaps even autobiographical--musings on the purposes of pain and disappointment that are brought to the fore.

Opening with “Do Ya,” Elias serves as a guide of sorts, leading us into places none of us would choose to go. The plaintive acoustic guitar is joined by a slowly building cadre of instrumentation and layered voices blowing across a dusty soulscape.

Who am I?
Do you know me?
If you know
Well then tell me
Ring those suffering chimes
Tell me whose fate is mine

Do ya feel like an angel?
Or a pawn in a fable?
Son of Jōb
Son of betrayal
There are no strangers at this table

Ending with one of the coolest chords since the beginning of “Hard Day’s Night,” the stage is then set for the ripping title track, which is easily the top rock song of 2013.  Delivered with the edginess of late 60s Rolling Stones but the ferocity of  mid-tempo Metallica, this slide guitar-fueled cruncher lifts the downtrodden questions into a realm of righteous anger.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb
And naked I will return
My serpent skins shed in the tomb
And a lover’s heart that still burns

A spoken word section halfway through, reminiscent of Bono’s laments in “Bullet the Blue Sky,” was written and voiced by Rick’s old high school chum, the illustrious Luis Alberto Urrea, now a Pulitzer Prize nominated and New York Times Best Selling author.

Templars in the alley performing esoteric rites
Junkies howl their hosannas in the galleries of night
Gathering upright citizens running from the light
Just another blind boy, blessed and cursed, with visions instead of sight
And I’m still walking…

If I fell down in the city would I make the slightest sound?
One the sidewalk where the saddest of the seraphim can be found
Where the children of the morning chalk their scriptures on the ground
And sing their hymns with the voices of the drowned
I hear them talking…

“When It All Comes Down” follows next as protestations begin to turn inward, examining how sometimes we help create our own quagmires. The sophisticated arrangement and cool elements like a backwards guitar, stark keyboard textures, and Tim Chandler’s lyrical bass figures broaden the pallet that provides paint for the picture.

I watched the level rise
Debris brought me to my knees
With all my crimes
And all my lies
I circled the drain
Like a spider going down the sink

When it all came down
It was like a mist that tuned to rain
Until the rain
Became a stream
The stream a river
An open vein
Bleeding out across the lowlands
Swallowing summer and spring
When it all came down
It took everything

Willing inner deception is also spoken of in a lament about divas and drama queens, and the men who are pulled under their spells in “A Kind of Brilliance.”

Critics, fakes, and cheap alcohol
Clumsy, mumbled dialogue
Would never bring her down
She’s lost in her soliloquy
Her lonely, bittersweet elegy
To love lost, not found
While here in the shadows I am bleeding, baby
But you can’t even hear my voice

And I admit
It requires
An exquisite
Kind of liar
A kind of brilliance
To believe

Melancholy and nostalgia soaked in resignation characterize the aching account of the years of a marriage; good, bad, and indifferent. Surely “When We Built This House” is one of the frankest songs I’ve heard about the ongoing challenges of life-long commitment.

Those were the days
When grace threw long shadows
And light filtered through
Now we see through a haze
Smoke and dust from a battle
Ghosts wander from room to room
I told you, “Love is never abstract
It will break your heart and never look back”

Then you ask me how I am
Well what do you see?
One heart left to chance
And the other to bleed
Two souls in a dance
A fait accompli
Then I remember
Your eyes, your laugh
You smiled and the world was right
And I still remember
When we built this house

A reworking of “Help Thou My Unbelief,” originally on the Prayers of a Ragamuffin album, continues the flow of recognition within the heart of Jōbs and Thomas’s everywhere that there is, indeed, a loving God in the midst of the trials and apprehension. A gentle, earnest plea for anyone that is wrestling with uncertainty.

Father you led me as I crossed the wasteland
Conquering the mountains, the rivers, the lowlands
But you would not conquer me

Abba you touched me, you heard all my cries
I sat at your table, I lay by your side
But as Thomas, no Judas
It’s you I denied
Still, you loved me

Bringing everything to a close is “Jōb, Naked,” and addendum to the title track that starts as an edgy acoustic Steve Earle-like thumper. The ultimate questions still resound, but there’s an allowance for clemency from the great beyond, and a hope for the coming redeemer.

Well, yer straight out of luck
The hand’s dealt from the bottom tonight
Deals have been struck
And the seersucker suits came to buy

After all their manipulations
Yeah, all those clever moves
Comes a single act of mercy
As a child in a young mother’s womb

The final several minutes morph into a middle-eastern whirling dervish, reminiscent of the eclectic instrumentation utilized on the Page-Plant Zeppelin Unledded tour back in the mid-90s.  The interaction between Elias’ frenetic guitar and drummer/percussionist Steve Hindalong’s accents builds in hypnotic intensity.  The rising string section adds to the mounting crescendo, that ends with an Olympic droning sustain that washes over the whole procession.  As it fades, one is reminded that Yaweh does speak, usually as a whisper, through the howling winds on occasion.

Sonically, Jōb is by far the best sounding album Elias has done. Rich in texture, warm when needed, stark in the right places.  Little instrumental flourishes and sweeteners from accordion, organ, piano, vibes, mandolin, etc. lend just the right grace notes. The contributions of the aforementioned Hindalong and Chandler, who make up the rhythm section of The Choir, are stellar. Their band mate, Derri Daughtery, does a premium effort engineering and assisting on the mix. But it is Elias, who plays nearly every other instrument, and blends in many intriguing harmonies alongside his ardent lead vocal, who carries the day.

All said, Jōb is such a satisfying listen, and worthy of the wait.  It is certainly one of the strongest releases of the year.  And all of it combined begs just one more question: how long until the next one?  I’m confident that Rick has much, much more to offer, and can hardly contain myself in anticipation of more to come. Lord knows, we need his brand of literate, seasoned, and fervent rock to help us navigate the thorny questions.

You can buy Jōb as a digital download here (as well as hear samples):


You can also purchase it at iTunes (as well as hear samples):


If you want a physical CD (and maybe some other swag such as a signed album art poster, autographed B&W pic, comp CD, etc.) go here:



Sunday, September 29, 2013

More letters about Embracing the Gray, Fall 2013 edition


My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing a Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, has elicited a slew of letters and e-mails.  Here are excerpts of some that have come in…

Just finished Embracing the Gray, and there were so many lessons. Thanks Mark for writing it down, I cried more than a couple of times. Great Book!
J.M.

Mark, I am about 1/4 of the way into it and I had to stop be cause my husband wanted to read it. So, we compromised... I started over and am reading it out loud to him. I can't wait till morning so I can pick up where i left off tonight! When you make this a movie... oh and yes you should!! Fantastic stuff Mark!
R.R.

My soul is being fed. Grateful. I finished your book tonight. Wow! There are so many things running through my head. It came at a very important and significant weekend for me. And even the process of getting your book into my hands (well, downloaded to my computer) was God given and ordained . . . and I don't say that lightly.
S.F.

Okay I just finished the book. Thanks for having the last chapter on how you are embracing the gray, it is helpful as I am spent and hurt all over. I think it will help a lot of people understand that they are not the only ones to question God and to suffer with confusion with God. Your words in the last chapter will comfort me, as I am sure I will read them often.
N.S.

Thank you for writing Embracing the Gray.  I downloaded it from your website because it sounded like it would address some problems I am having of understanding my son.  I really liked the last chapter and found it to be encouraging. The Psalms tell us that His Word is a lamp for our steps, a light for our path - not a floodlight to see ahead, but a light to see each step.  That's the encouragement I get from your book.  
B.F.

I have to say I am not sure how anyone can put your book down; maybe they didn't ever have to face the world. It is a tough life and I can relate to your brother and your friend who wanted to kill himself while he is drunk. I never reached that but I understand addiction. Your book is bringing me face to face with these demons and I pray and have been praying I can break away. I am close to 60 and not sure how much longer I will be here.

Your book is full of life-changing thought. A word I never use must be used in reflecting on it: profound. I will be loaning it to several others I know, and I am sure when it comes back to me it will be well worn. Right now a lady who wants to commit suicide will be reading it and I never felt a calling but when I thought about who I would share it with next; I was compelled to share the book. Other people are in mind but they are not suicidal but have faith so I put the books in the hand of the needy. If I never get it back, I will buy others because I believe this is something people should read. As much as I like Chuck Swindoll and Charles Stanley; I don't think they have the experiences to share because they were always surrounded by believers with issues rather than the sinners of the world. Excellent book, everyone should read it.
D.P.

Wow!  Next step is the movie!
D.C. 

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating.  If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also read many reader reviews (97% are Five Stars) at:


Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):



Saturday, July 27, 2013

More Five Star Reviews for "Embracing the Gray"


My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and ADoubter’s Resolve, continues to generate over 95% Five Star Reviews at Amazon.com.  Here are some more of these recommendations:

You must read this book! Embracing The Gray was such a stellar read that my family sat around reading chapters to each other, through tears. The stories of Mark's interaction - with everyone from music industry celebrities to the homeless to villagers in the remote corners of the world -are absolutely riveting. I guarantee that this book will have a long standing impact on you.
D.S.


Most people of faith go through periods of doubt, questioning why things happen and whether God is with us. Mark Hollingsworth does, too--but unlike many, he is open about it. His book Embracing the Gray, recalls his journey (a fascinating one) and explores the gray areas of life and faith, and does so in an engaging and compelling fashion. This book is not just another book about religion. It is a personal account of faith, doubt and acceptance. Embrace it!
M.B.

First book I’ve Read cover to cover in years. Not being much of a book reader, I haven't fully read a book from cover to cover in at least 20 years. This book changed that. I laughed hysterically at times and was overcome with emotion and tears at times as I was brought along on Mark's journey, which is really everyone's journey. God definitely has used this book to move and stir something in me. It was thought-provoking and inspiring, and The Eternal Now chapter will provide reflection and great comfort for years to come.
R.S.

Pick up this book! Mark Hollingsworth has written a beautiful memoir that chronicles the arc of his own humanity. To follow a spiritual path--to be "in the world, but not of it"--is to reach and fall, to lose and regain faith, to be downcast and uplifted, and to ultimately be appreciative of the grace of an imperfect, and impermanent, world. Written with humor, empathy and a poet's heart, these stories will find their way into your thoughts again and again when you least expect it. As a citizen of the world whose spiritual quest has taken him fararound the globe in a life of service, Mark Hollingsworth is a man worth knowing. Let's hope this is the first of many books.
S.S.

Definitely a Must Read. The best way I can say it is that Mr. Hollingsworth has written abook that not only was entertaining to read, but that is a very deep journey into the soul of someone that I think many of us can easily relate to. It was certainly fun learning about the many people in music he was able to come to know personally, but for me, what made this book so phenomenal are the personal stories, the stories where his belief was tested, and despite times where he could have given up on his faith, the struggles seemed to only solidify his resolve, and made him a more spiritual person, and I think that's something all of us can admire then.
B.B.

Each one of us are a living story, some of us dare to write it down. Anyone who really knows me knows of my utter disgust with gray, but I LOVE Mark Hollingsworth and I find his life story (so far... after all, he has much, much more to explore and hopefully write down) fascinating. He's honest and raw and vulnerable. He's not a poser (THANK GOD) and I'm honored I got to know him. Get this book.
N.V.

Irresistible! Once I started reading Embracing The Gray... I could not put it down. Hollingsworth takes you on a journey through his life using a wondrous interplay of stories and lyrics. He shows that his faith, even though often tested, has remained strong - this is a great testament to us all. Mark brings his relationships front and center - baring his soul and causing this reader to question how I could have been more thoughtful in my own journey. His wit and storytelling creates a wonderful tapestry - weaving relationships in and out of the seasons of his life. He has led a truly remarkable life with similarly remarkable friends. Thanks, Mark!
L.S.

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating. If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also read many other reader reviews at:


Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):



Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Orphans of God


By Mark Heard
From Satellite Sky
I will rise from my bed with a question again 

As I work to inherit the restless wind 

The view from my window is cold and obscene
I want to touch what my eyes haven't seen
But they have packaged our virtue in cellulose dreams 

And sold us the remnants 'til our pockets are clean 

‘Til our hopes fall 'round our feet like the dust and dead leaves
And we end up looking like what we believe
We are soot-covered urchins running wild and unshod 

We will always be remembered as the orphans of God 

They will dig up these ruins and make flutes of our bones 

And blow a hymn to the memory of the orphans of God
Like bees in a bottle we are flying at fate 

Beating our wings against the walls of this place 

Unaware that the struggle is the blood of the proof

In choosing to believe the unbelievable truth
But they have captured our siblings and rendered them mute 

They've disputed our lineage and poisoned our roots 

We have bought from the brokers who have broken their oaths

And we're out on the streets with a lump in our throats
We are soot-covered urchins running wild and unshod 

We will always be remembered as the orphans of God 

They will dig up these ruins 
and make flutes of our bones 

And blow a hymn to the memory of the orphans of God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N58edukzT8c

Sunday, January 20, 2013

"Goodness has never been a guarantee of safety," and more Madelein L'Engle quotes (Part 2)


Madelein L’Engle (1918-2007) authored over 40 books, including A Wrinkle In Time and all of its sequels.  I still recall my 3rd grade teacher reading those to us, and being mesmerized by the way they stimulated my imagination.  Her writing reflected her deep Christian faith, a love of science, and a curiosity to ask many questions. I was privileged to hear her give the Commencement Address to my graduating class at Wheaton College in 1977.  Here is Part 2 of my favorite quotes from her writings.  Let me know which ones resonate with you.


Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

The growth of love is not a straight line, but a series of hills and valleys.

Anger is not bitterness. Bitterness can go on eating at a man's heart and mind forever. Anger spends itself in its own time.

The world of science lives fairly comfortably with paradox. We know that light is a wave, and also that light is a particle. The discoveries made in the infinitely small world of particle physics indicate randomness and chance, and I do not find it any more difficult to live with the paradox of a universe of randomness and chance and a universe of pattern and purpose than I do with light as a wave and light as a particle. Living with contradiction is nothing new to the human being.

Like it or not, we either add to the darkness of indifference and out-and-out evil which surrounds us or we light a candle to see by.

And there's no getting around the fact that all life lives at the expense of another life.

You and I have good enough minds to know how very limited and finite they really are. The naked intellect is an extraordinarily inaccurate instrument.

There is in God, some say, a deep but dazzling darkness.

It was the same way with silence. This was more than silence. A deaf person can feel vibrations. Here there was nothing to feel.

We have much to be judged on when he comes, slums and battlefields and insane asylums, but these are the symptoms of our illness and the result of our failures in love.

Goodness has never been a guarantee of safety.

One of the most pusillanimous things we of the female sex have done throughout the centuries is to have allowed the male sex to assume that mankind is masculine. It is not. It takes both male and female to make the image of God. The proper understanding of mankind is that it is only a poor, broken thing if either male or female is excluded.

The joys of love...last only a moment. The sorrows of love last all the life long.

My dear, I'm seldom sure of anything. Life at best is a precarious business, and we aren't told that difficult or painful things won't happen, just that it matters. It matters not just to us but to the entire universe.

God promised to make you free. He never promised to make you independent.

Why does anybody tell a story? It does indeed have something to do with faith. Faith that the universe has meaning, that our little human lives are not irrelevant, that what we choose or say or do matters, matters cosmically.

If you're too happy about anything, fate usually gives you a good sock in the jaw and knocks you down.

I am not some kind of computer. Only machines have glib answers for everything.

The peculiar idea that bigger is better has been around for at least as long as I have, and it's always bothered me. There is within it the implication that it is more difficult for God to care about a gnat than about a galaxy. Creation is just as visible in a grain of sand as in a skyful of stars. The church is not immune from the bigger-is-better heresy. One woman told of going to a meeting where only a handful of people turned out, and these faithful few were scolded by the visiting preacher for the sparseness of the congregation. And she said indignantly, 'Our Lord said *feed* my sheep, not count them!' I often feel that I'm being counted, rather than fed, and so I am hungry.
  
No! Alike and equal are not the same thing at all!”

If we don't pray according to the needs of the heart, we repress our deepest longings. Our prayers may not be rational, and we may be quite aware of that, but if we repress our needs, then those unsaid prayers will fester.

You're going to get hurt yourself, and badly, if you take everything so hard.

She began to feel the sense of wonderful elation that always came to her when beauty took hold of her and made her forget her fears.

Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do.

Two people whose opinion I respect told me that the word "Christian" would turn people off. This certainly says something about the state of Christianity today. I wouldn't mind if to be a Christian were accepted as being the dangerous thing which it is; I wouldn't mind if, when a group of Christians meet for bread and wine, we might well be interrupted and jailed for subversive activities; I wouldn't mind if, once again, we were being thrown to the lions. I do mind, desperately, that the word "Christian" means for so many people smugness, and piosity, and holier-than-thouness. Who today can recognize a Christian because of "how those Christians love one another"?”

It does not matter that we cannot fathom this mystery. The only real problem comes when we think that we have.

If we accept that we have at least an iota of free will, we cannot throw it back the moment things go wrong. Like a human parent, God will help us when we ask for help, but in a way that will make us more mature, more real, not in a way that will diminish us.

You cannot see the past that did not happen any more than you can foresee the future.

But grief still has to be worked through. It is like walking through water. Sometimes there are little waves lapping about my feet. Sometimes there is an enormous breaker that knocks me down. Sometimes there is a sudden and fierce squall. But I know that many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.

Compassion is nothing one feels with the intellect alone. Compassion is particular; it is never general.

Life is not easy and comfortable, with nothing ever going wrong as long as you buy the right product. It's not true that if you have the right insurance everything is going to be fine. That's not what it's really like. Terrible things happen. And those are the things we learn from.

We human beings grow through our failures, not our virtues.

No wonder our youth is confused and in pain; they long for God, for the transcendent, and they are offered, far too often, either piosity or sociology, neither of which meets their needs, and they are introduced to churches which have become buildings that are a safe place to go to escape the awful demands of God.

Alas. What have we done to our good, bawdy, Anglo-Saxon four-letter words? ...We have blunted them so with overuse that they no longer have any real meaning for us. ...When will we be able to redeem our shock words? They have been turned to marshmallows. ...We no longer have anything to cry in time of crisis. 'Help!' we bleat. And no one hears us. 'Help' is another of those four-letter words that don't mean anything any more.

How do I make more than a fumbling attempt to explain that faith is not legislated, that it is not a small box which works twenty-four hours a day? If I 'believe' for two minutes once every month or so, I'm doing well.

Thoughts?