An imperfect gift for those who have it all together

My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing a Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, has been given over a hundred 5 Star Reviews at Amazon.com (97% of all responses). It might be an interesting gift idea for a friend or relative who is going through hard questions about life, faith, and purpose.  Here are some excerpts from readers that have been posted…

When I first set out to read Mark's book, it was with a view to enjoy a fellow road warrior's memoirs and reminisce on my time on the road while I read through stories of his times. Mission accomplished ... but wait, this book is far more than a simple set of stories and memories of being on the road!

Mark's influence in "the biz" is astounding. His depth of experience goes well beyond what I knew of him, taking on perspective and experiences from so many of the past 40 years of music and artists. He can speak with authority on many a friend or acquaintance from the music industry, yet this book is not about Mark, nor is it about the biz; yes, it speaks of him, but it's not about him. Instead, I was surprised to find a depth of insight and a clarity of direction that has been gleaned from a long search for meaning in life.

I found myself laughing, crying, moved beyond emotion to introspection, but ultimately, a powerful, well-written synopsis of a life richly lived. I never saw the end coming in this book. It crept up on me silently and without need of a summary, Mark beautifully wove words to the meaning of embracing the gray. Life is not about either/or, it's about both/and. The insights are so appreciated in this world of extremes where "embracing the pendulum" much more the norm. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Well done, Mark! 
S.L.

Mark Hollingsworth's Embracing The Gray is an amazing journey through one ordinary yet extraordinary man's life and faith. The book is refreshingly truthful. It portrays true humanity and glimpses of the divine. I'd highly recommend this autobiographical novel!  
K.S.

A captivating read. Mark's story draws you in as if you are reading an account that is both familiar and yet at times devastating. I laughed out loud and was brought to tears. His honesty about his doubts and faith called out and validated my own questions as something to embrace rather than try and run from or never face. Even apart from the story of faith that is woven throughout, the experiences of his life are simply fascinating to read.

I am not a quick reader and have left too many books unfinished because they did not hold my attention. I finished this book within a 24 hour period. I have already bought a copy for a Christmas present and may get a few more. I'd recommend this to nearly anyone out there. 
M.D.W.

Tears and laughter.  What a ride! As someone who has traveled a great deal, I could relate to some of the adventures Mark Hollingsworth experienced in his journeys, but that's where the comparison ends. The depth and insight Mark has into the people he met along the way, his keen sense of observation and compassion moved me to tears as I read the book on a flight home. His deep desire to help his fellow man (or woman) both abroad and in his hometown is inspiring, and has caused me to open my eyes for a sharper look for those who need a shoulder, a laugh or words of comfort. Good on you Mark for being a friend to those in need and the caring son and brother that enriched his family. 
S.V.

Loved this book for so MANY reasons! Embracing the Gray had me mesmerized from the very opening. The family dynamics, the questioning mind, the musical influences, the peer group, the range of viewpoints and the writing style that ties it all together really kept my interest from start to finish. Having grown up in a Christian household I had a foundation that I grew up on but I so related to the tragedies and the life events that brought Mark to his place of questioning. I was a wanderer for years and I am a music buff so I was hooked right from the beginning. I admired Mark's courage to step out and question verbally and to challenge his peers in college.

I SO enjoyed reading about his journey with Kerry Livgren (with the band Kansas) and I was happy yet saddened by the unfolding of his relationship with his brother. An unexpected surprise I received was the fact that I was given a new perspective on the music that I grew up on. I went back and listened to the songs Mark talked about in Embracing the Gray, and I love them more today than I did back then. It’s a book that I am so glad to have added to my collection  A+++++ MUST READ!!!

D.H.

I very much enjoyed this book. Mark's sheer honesty regarding his faith and experiences left me in contemplation and wonder. We are reminded that the world is full of darkness and beauty simultaneously. There is heartbreak and there is hope. The structure of this book is such that it is hard to put down. I found myself always curious about what would come next. This is a unique thing, I believe, for a writing of nonfiction. Mark has had an amazing life, and we are very privileged to be given the opportunity to witness his journey.
A.K.

Excellent.  I appreciate Mark's refreshing honesty about his faith, his struggles, and the joy and torment that life in general brings. I was moved to the brink of tears often. The compassion exhibited throughout is inspiring.

B.B.

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating. You can also check out other reader reviews, as well as order the book in hard copy at this link.  In fact, Embracing the Gray is also available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at this same link.

http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Gray-Doubters-Resolve-ebook/dp/B004L62CN2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

If you would be interested in purchasing a signed copy, please contact me, and I can work with you directly on any of those requests, or answer any other questions you might have.  I answer all my mail.  : )

More Five Star Reviews for "Embracing the Gray"

My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and ADoubter’s Resolve, continues to generate over 95% Five Star Reviews at Amazon.com.  Here are some more of these recommendations:

You must read this book! Embracing The Gray was such a stellar read that my family sat around reading chapters to each other, through tears. The stories of Mark's interaction - with everyone from music industry celebrities to the homeless to villagers in the remote corners of the world -are absolutely riveting. I guarantee that this book will have a long standing impact on you.

D.S.

Most people of faith go through periods of doubt, questioning why things happen and whether God is with us. Mark Hollingsworth does, too--but unlike many, he is open about it. His book Embracing the Gray, recalls his journey (a fascinating one) and explores the gray areas of life and faith, and does so in an engaging and compelling fashion. This book is not just another book about religion. It is a personal account of faith, doubt and acceptance. Embrace it!

M.B.

First book I’ve Read cover to cover in years. Not being much of a book reader, I haven't fully read a book from cover to cover in at least 20 years. This book changed that. I laughed hysterically at times and was overcome with emotion and tears at times as I was brought along on Mark's journey, which is really everyone's journey. God definitely has used this book to move and stir something in me. It was thought-provoking and inspiring, and The Eternal Now chapter will provide reflection and great comfort for years to come.

R.S.

Pick up this book! Mark Hollingsworth has written a beautiful memoir that chronicles the arc of his own humanity. To follow a spiritual path--to be "in the world, but not of it"--is to reach and fall, to lose and regain faith, to be downcast and uplifted, and to ultimately be appreciative of the grace of an imperfect, and impermanent, world. Written with humor, empathy and a poet's heart, these stories will find their way into your thoughts again and again when you least expect it. As a citizen of the world whose spiritual quest has taken him fararound the globe in a life of service, Mark Hollingsworth is a man worth knowing. Let's hope this is the first of many books.

S.S.

Definitely a Must Read. The best way I can say it is that Mr. Hollingsworth has written abook that not only was entertaining to read, but that is a very deep journey into the soul of someone that I think many of us can easily relate to. It was certainly fun learning about the many people in music he was able to come to know personally, but for me, what made this book so phenomenal are the personal stories, the stories where his belief was tested, and despite times where he could have given up on his faith, the struggles seemed to only solidify his resolve, and made him a more spiritual person, and I think that's something all of us can admire then.

B.B.

Each one of us are a living story, some of us dare to write it down. Anyone who really knows me knows of my utter disgust with gray, but I LOVE Mark Hollingsworth and I find his life story (so far... after all, he has much, much more to explore and hopefully write down) fascinating. He's honest and raw and vulnerable. He's not a poser (THANK GOD) and I'm honored I got to know him. Get this book.
N.V.

Irresistible! Once I started reading Embracing The Gray... I could not put it down. Hollingsworth takes you on a journey through his life using a wondrous interplay of stories and lyrics. He shows that his faith, even though often tested, has remained strong - this is a great testament to us all. Mark brings his relationships front and center - baring his soul and causing this reader to question how I could have been more thoughtful in my own journey. His wit and storytelling creates a wonderful tapestry - weaving relationships in and out of the seasons of his life. He has led a truly remarkable life with similarly remarkable friends. Thanks, Mark!
L.S.

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating. If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also read many other reader reviews at:

http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Gray-Doubters-Resolve-ebook/dp/B004L62CN2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):

http://markahollingsworth.com/Node

The Orphans of God

By Mark Heard
From Satellite Sky

I will rise from my bed with a question again 

As I work to inherit the restless wind 

The view from my window is cold and obscene
I want to touch what my eyes haven't seen

But they have packaged our virtue in cellulose dreams 

And sold us the remnants 'til our pockets are clean 

‘Til our hopes fall 'round our feet like the dust and dead leaves
And we end up looking like what we believe

We are soot-covered urchins running wild and unshod 

We will always be remembered as the orphans of God 

They will dig up these ruins and make flutes of our bones 

And blow a hymn to the memory of the orphans of God

Like bees in a bottle we are flying at fate 

Beating our wings against the walls of this place 

Unaware that the struggle is the blood of the proof

In choosing to believe the unbelievable truth

But they have captured our siblings and rendered them mute 

They've disputed our lineage and poisoned our roots 

We have bought from the brokers who have broken their oaths

And we're out on the streets with a lump in our throats

We are soot-covered urchins running wild and unshod 

We will always be remembered as the orphans of God 

They will dig up these ruins 
and make flutes of our bones 

And blow a hymn to the memory of the orphans of God

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N58edukzT8c

"Time exists so that everything doesn't happen at once," and other Madelein L'Engle quotes (Part 1)

Madelein L’Engle (1918-2007) authored over 40 books, including A Wrinkle In Time and all of its sequels.  I still recall my 3^rd grade teacher reading those to us, and being mesmerized by the way they stimulated my imagination.  Her writing reflected her deep Christian faith, a love of science, and a curiosity to ask many questions. I was privileged to hear her give the Commencement Address to my graduating class at Wheaton College in 1977.  Here are some of my favorite quotes from her writings.  Let me know which ones resonate with you.

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.

A self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to the child, finished and complete. A self is always becoming.

Time exists so that everything doesn't happen at once.

The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain.

If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.

A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.

If it can be verified, we don't need faith... Faith is for that which lies on the other side of reason. Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.

Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.

Our truest response to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find truth.

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.

When we lose our myths we lose our place in the universe.

I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly.

The only way to cope with something deadly serious is to try to treat it a little lightly

Just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist.

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.

Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving.

Love of music, of sunsets and sea; a liking for the same kind of people; political opinions that are not radically divergent; a similar stance as we look at the stars and think of the marvelous strangeness of the universe - these are what build a marriage. And it is never to be taken for granted.

Believing takes practice.

We are all strangers in a strange land, longing for home, but not quite knowing what or where home is. We glimpse it sometimes in our dreams, or as we turn a corner, and suddenly there is a strange, sweet familiarity that vanishes almost as soon as it comes.

I love, therefore I am vulnerable.

It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand.

The minute we begin to think we have all the answers, we forget the questions.

Instead of rejoicing in this glorious "impossible" which gives meaning and dignity to our lives, we try to domesticate God, to make his mighty actions comprehensible to our finite minds.

Inspiration usually comes during work rather than before it.

Death is contagious; it is contracted the moment we are conceived.

I think that all artists, regardless of degree of talent, are a painful, paradoxical combination of certainty and uncertainty, of arrogance and humility, constantly in need of reassurance, and yet with a stubborn streak of faith in their own validity no matter what.

We have to be braver than we think we can be, because God is constantly calling us to be more than we are.

But unless we are creators we are not fully alive. What do I mean by creators? Not only artists, whose acts of creation are the obvious ones of working with paint of clay or words. Creativity is a way of living life, no matter our vocation or how we earn our living. Creativity is not limited to the arts, or having some kind of important career.

Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.

It's hard to let go anything we love. We live in a world which teaches us to clutch. But when we clutch we're left with a fistful of ashes.

We think because we have words, not the other way around. The more words we have, the better able we are to think conceptually.

Truth is what is true, and it's not necessarily factual. Truth and fact are not the same thing. Truth does not contradict or deny facts, but it goes through and beyond facts. This is something that it is very difficult for some people to understand. Truth can be dangerous.

That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along.

Creative scientists and saints expect revelation and do not fear it. Neither do children. But as we grow up and we are hurt, we learned not to trust.

We do learn and develop when we are exposed to those who are greater than we are. Perhaps this is the chief way we mature.

Basically there can be no categories such as 'religious' art and 'secular' art, because all true art is incarnational, and therefore 'religious.

But there is something about Time. The sun rises and sets. The stars swing slowly across the sky and fade. Clouds fill with rain and snow, empty themselves, and fill again. The moon is born, and dies, and is reborn. Around millions of clocks swing hour hands, and minute hands, and second hands. Around goes the continual circle of the notes of the scale. Around goes the circle of night and day, the circle of weeks forever revolving, and of months, and of years.

God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are.

Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.

An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.

We turn to stories and pictures and music because they show us who and what and why we are.

Darkness was and darkness was good. As with light. Light and Darkness dancing together, born together, born of each other, neither preceding, neither following, both fully being, in joyful rhythm.

I do not think that I will ever reach a stage when I will say, "This is what I believe. Finished." What I believe is alive ... and open to growth.

Love is the one surprise.

She seems to have had the ability to stand firmly on the rock of her past while living completely and unregretfully in the present.

It is possible to suffer and despair an entire lifetime and still not give up the art of laughter.

When I have something to say that I think will be too difficult for adults, I write it in a book for children. Children are excited by new ideas; they have not yet closed the doors and windows of their imaginations. Provided the story is good... nothing is too difficult for children.

Truth is eternal. Knowledge is changeable. It is disastrous to confuse them.

To be continued…

Let me know which of these speak to you.

What do Nick Hornby, Uncertainty, Cameron Crow, Curiosity and The School of Rock Have In Common?

The kind and insightful reviews of my book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing, A Prayer, and a Doubter’s Resolve (Wheatmark Press), continue to come in via Amazon.com.  To this point, of over a hundred reviews that have come in, 97% of the reviews have been “Five Stars.”  Here are half a dozen recent entries:

I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Mark's writing is very captivating and easy to read. The stories that he tells of his life are funny, sad, insightful and thought provoking. In a polarized society, I appreciate Mark's honesty that some of life's answers come from struggling with the "gray" and that we can draw closer to God through those experiences.
H.T.

I have known Mark for a few years and have read his blog regularly in that time. I have seen and experienced first hand his own willingness to live his faith in an open, honest way, including not just the good times, but the hard questions and difficult circumstances. If you are looking for happy-go-lucky, pat on the back, feel-good themed book, you may want to pick up one of those fluff books. If, however, you want a book that will affirm your own struggles, is easy to read, and at the same time challenges you to take seriously the concepts of God, spirituality and help you in times where you may feel all alone, I couldn't recommend anything as much as Embracing the Gray. Mark writes from a place of honesty that many of us could learn from; his life has been an example; his words will inspire and challenge.

M.F.

It was difficult to put this book down once I started reading. Mark is such a great storyteller with such incredible picturesque descriptions. The U2 story in particular is one you won't forget. I highly recommend this and look forward to what he does next.  J.R.

Mark is such an amazing writer and communicator that I can still crack up (or tear up) when reading many of his adventures. I couldn't put the book down.

It's great fun to hear all the funny stories and adventures of trips around the world, hanging with rock stars or just the silly things life brings our way. The best part though is the authentic honesty that comes through Mark's spiritual journey as well as his care and thoughtfulness for people and meeting them where they are at.

The Christian walk often brings much doubt and uncertainty, particularly for people who are curious, thoughtful and intelligent. I found it very easy to relate to the various questions Mark has struggled with in his search for spiritual meaning. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this book to any of my friends, regardless of where they are at in their spiritual journey or even if they don't realize they are on one.
C.S.

The author is brilliant at weaving in common-sense spiritual nuggets throughout his fascinating life story. I am hoping to pass it along to others with the same struggles, which many of us have. Bravo for telling things as they are, not as we want them to be within circles of Christianity. One honest voice & gracious heart can break the mold. Thank you. 
L.G.

Buy it for the U2 story, you will stay for the rest! Mark Hollingsworth is a great storyteller and he has more than his fair share of experiences to make his tales hold your attention. Part Cameron Crowe, part Nick Hornby and with vulnerability and soul-exposing honesty that confirms the authentic heart of the author. The book will be most interesting if you are a Kerry Livgren/Kansas fan, since Mark befriended and chronicled Kerry during his rise to fame. This book should have been required reading for Jack Black's School of Rock class! 
J.G.

I continue to be humbled by these thoughtful words.  And equally excited that the book is connecting with so many others.  If you would like to read more reviews, or write one of your own, or order a copy (now available in Kindle format as well) go to:

http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Gray-Prayer-Doubters-Resolve/dp/160494417X/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

-or-

http://www.wheatmark.com/merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=9781604944174&Category_Code=

-or-

Contact me directly if you would like to purchase a signed copy.   : )

Ye Olde Letters of Recommendation

My book, Embracing the Gray: A Wing a Prayer, and A Doubter’s Resolve, has elicited a slew of letters and e-mails.  Here are excerpts of some that have come in…

I'm a little over halfway through and it is remarkable! I've laughed and cried...sometimes both at the same time!

J.E.

Started reading your book & can't put it down. Good writing is something I like to soak up . . . so I'm soaking up your book! Last night I cried reading about when you lost your brother, especially your prayer that you not lose your faith again. Very moving! And then I laughed so hard I shook the bed reading about your brownie from Stuckey's! I just want you to know that it was life changing for me. I can't thank you enough for writing it and for being so incredibly open & vulnerable. I laughed so much but cried more.
M.H.

Wow!  Next step is the Movie!
D.C. 

The fact that you book has done so well is evidence of how well written it is, and how people appreciate your raw openness about your faith and search for truth. I'm truly happy for you, and how well received your book has been!
M.P.

This is very uplifting and has many great points of view!!
T.C.

Love it. One minute I was laughing, and the next minute I was crying. I have recommended it to several of my friends.
L.K.

Embracing the Gray reminds me of all of us long-hair-hippie-freaks trying to be relevant and authentic with our faith. Thanks for sharing your journey and reminding me where I came from!
D.R.

Wonderful! I loved this book. It really makes you think about a lot in your own life. I was laughing one minute and crying the next. Thank you Mark for sharing.
B.M.

Just wanted you to know that I read Embracing the Gray yesterday. A great read. I can't believe how many shared experiences I had with you, only separated by some geography. There were so many of his stories that were eerily similar. I even suspect that our paths probably crossed at either a Petra concert or Shawn Phillips performance. Anyway, thanks for the heads up on the book. It was very moving and spiritually challenging.
R.S.

Congrats on the book and it's success apparent. Proud of you.... lotsa great worldview, faith and provocative thought in that ancient head of yours my friend.
M.W.

Just bought the book on Amazon tonight, and couldn’t put it down for hours. Captivating stuff! Great read! Interesting stories, some laugh-out-loud funny moments, and a great message about grace. Loved it!
D.T.

Mark, you're a wonderful human being. Embracing the Gray is a great read.

S.P.

Thoroughly enjoyable read. Written the way I wish I could write, clear and to the point. Coming from the same general era I enjoyed the music references. I could relate also to the family turbulence resulting from a member with addictions. The journey is always a big part but the destination is the biggest part.

B.W.

A lot going on with me right now. And a lot swirling around in my head. So the timing for "Embracing The Gray" is amazing.
U. F.

I received your book today (call it a birthday present from the Postal Service), and I have to say, what an amazing story so far! It is the epitome of a "book I can't put down." What you've written about in it, the struggles, and other questions you've had, are very heavy subject matters, but you've managed to do it with that humor. I can appreciate the sly jokes, and the puns, as I enjoy subtlety like that. You delve into some very personal, very deep subjects, and do it with a reflective mood, but not one of regret, again, like myself. I'm really looking forward to reading more of the book, but just thought I'd take a break to drop you a line to say I'm really enjoying it!

B.B.

My son’s comment's about you and your book led me to begin reading your intriguing and insightful book - keep up the good work!
D.K.

The big point, of course, is that life is full of ambiguity, and the harder you try to force everything into black or white categories, the  less you are able to be were God needs you to be, physically AND spiritually. The trouble is that when that happens to folks who've made our lives  miserable by their "one-size-fits-all" judgments over the years, I  don't always have the compassion I should.  Yet another of a thousand areas God still has room to work in my life. You've given me plenty to think about.
P.R.

Good Morning. I listened to you this am on Family Life Radio in Albion, Michigan. Your word spoke clear to me and I am very grateful for your kindness to share this incredible source of love and understanding. I am looking forward to sharing this with my family and friends. Bless you.
T.B.

I read the whole book in one sitting. It is fabulous. Meaty stuff. Funny stuff. Encouraging stuff. You openly wrestles with so many things that are common to one seeking a relationship with the Creator. My take away was to stay in the Eternal Now with the Ever Present One.

P.M.

This has been one of my FAVORITE reads recently. In a busy life where I have limited time to read a book, I am so glad I chose this one! I was humbled, awed, encouraged, amused, moved and uplifted reading it. Pretty much like every time we ever got to hang out and have a conversation in person. I am over whelmed with gratitude that I ever got to know you :) After years of distance, I still am glad to consider you friend. The way you share yourself in the book is the same as the way you share yourself in person... humbly, honestly, humorously, intelligently, wholly. Reading your book was like experiencing a movement of the symphony of your heart, fully orchestrated. And a somewhat familiar melody for anyone who's ever known you, yet more fully orchestrated, and with parts not everyone has heard all together. Yummy music... somehow created out of print on a page! Well done, maestro!

L.M.

I continue to be humbled by the response the book is generating.  If you have read it and wish to correspond with me, I always interact with any communiqués.   You can also read many reader reviews (97% are Five Stars) at:

http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Gray-Doubters-Resolve-ebook/dp/B004L62CN2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Embracing the Gray is still available for a limited time as a 99 cent Kindle download at that same link, or as a free PDF download at my website (donations accepted):

http://markahollingsworth.com/Node